Monday, July 11, 2011

What do I REALLY want?

Last night I was doing a lot of thinking and asked myself: "If you could have ANYTHING you want right now, what would it be?" It's actually quite interesting to ponder. Instead of just giving an instinctive answer like, A HUGE RAISE or ICE CREAM CAKE, I wanted to come up with a real answer...what do I really want?

Right now...what I really would like is...internal clarity. A sense of peace that is hard to come by yet is desired by everyone. I know that it seems like a rather intangible or abstract thing to want when anwering my initial question but it is my answer nonetheless. I have SO many dreams and goals in life and I am simply not sure which one to pursue. All of them you say? Well if the human life span were 200 years then that might be possible...but seeing as though our lives move incredibly fast it's obviously not possible for me to acheive all my goals, so I am left with deciding which ones to pursue.

The list of my goals and dreams is beyond the scope of this particular post (but would be a good topic for a future blog post). Perhaps I need to work on narrowing down my list of things I want to accomplish, but really what's the fun in that? Maybe someday I'll have the answer to the question of what I am meant to do, where I am meant to be, and who I am meant to share that journey with. It's ok that I don't have any of these answers today...but, to answer the question that is the title of this blog piece, if I could have anything I wanted right would be the answers to those very questions


  1. Clarity is the greatest gift and it's something I pray for regularly. With clarity, all things are healed and anything's possible. I'm glad you "found" me today. I look forward to following your blog. Blessings, Holly

    1. Thank you Holly. I look forward to following your blog as well...along with my journey to clarity :)

  2. This feeling of simply wanting to know what you want, that describes my teenage years perfectly. That's what I lived, I felt I was existing without purpose and not knowing what I wanted. Now, like you, I have a long list in mind. It's interesting to see this was your first post, and I see you have documented your journey through all this time. I hope you are reaching those goals that you set for yourself, and most importantly enjoying the journey.

  3. Ah, but going after the answers is the fun in life! I like your stuff!

  4. I dunno. Ice cream cake sounds good.

  5. I think humans feel like they get answers, then something comes along to question it all, all over again.

    My husband keeps talking about going part time with his job. Then he'd work on artwork all the rest of the time. It stresses me out just thinking about it. I like that we have a normal schedule for once. I like that we see each other more. Regular money is coming in. So he thinks I'm not supportive. I feel like I'm just realistic. It's a hard circle. Of course I love the arts, but lets face it artist have that term starving artist for a reason.

  6. I don't think you should narrow a single thing down. You can accomplish them all. What keeps you from doing so is you. It is us in general. When we think we can't accomplish something, we don't make it possible, we even take care it will not happen. If we believe in it without any doubts, it will come true. We do not have to worry about how, we just have to believe it will become real - and we can accomplish ALL dreams we have.
    Did you find some of the answers? :)

  7. Hey Keith, I was searching for an 'about me' post and came across this instead. Powerful writing! I sorta disagree with the comment or above though. I am unsure of how time consuming your goals are but they could definitely be too time consuming to simply complete therefore you do have to narrow, or figure out how to combine. However, unfortunately, some of those decisions get made for us as well.. but all we can do is find a vision for our path and keep moving forward. Hope you are doing well on your current journey.
    Also do you have any posts that are a bit more like an 'about me'? Or if you like to remain sorta mysterious that is fine too ;)