Tuesday, April 10, 2012

I Should Have Named my Cat 'Dexter' (Repost)


    Meet Ruby...evil cloaked in cuteness
I wrote this last July during the infancy stages of my blog. I decided to share the story again because, well, cats are funny :)
I am a little worried about Ruby, my cat. She is a seemingly normal creature who has lately been exhibiting a “dark” side.  About a month ago I was walking downstairs to fix some breakfast prior to getting ready for work when I glanced something out of the corner of my eye in front of the door that leads to the back deck. Upon closer inspection, it was a dead mouse that had been murdered. I quickly narrowed the suspect pool to one...Ruby. She had motive, means, and opportunity. Add to that the fact that she had no alibi and it became painfully obvious that she was the perpetrator.

Although I was thankful to Ruby for making me aware that there was a mouse in the house, I was nonetheless concerned because she had never previously exhibited homicidal tendencies. In fact, aside from the occasional psychotic moment that all cats have (chasing imaginary objects, randomly pouncing on your leg as you walk by, running sideways through the living room for no apparent reason, etc.) she was actually quite docile.
Perhaps she simply thought it was a toy, I thought to myself. After all, several of her toys are “toy mice”. She probably just thought this was a toy that had suddenly sprung to life! Surely my little Ruby Sue would not intentionally kill another creature. After all, I had instilled morals in her from a very young age. Unfortunately, last week, it happened again. This time her handiwork was in the living room in front of the entertainment center. The body of the mouse exhibited signs of significant trauma to the head area…the amateur criminal profiler in me felt that this clearly demonstrated that the killer (ahem, Ruby) had enjoyed themselves. I had classified her first kill as an “accident”...or at the very most a “crime of passion”. However I was beginning to believe that she was now a cold-blooded murderer, having concealed these homicidal instincts from me the entire time I have had her!
Ruby's second victim...
Criminologists generally agree that the threshold to be considered a serial killer is three victims. It concerns me that Ruby is merely one kill away from being lumped into the same category as John Wayne Gacy, Ted Bundy, and Jeffery Dahmer. Is Ruby truly a psychopath? Is the sweet purring that she greets me with upon arriving home from work every day merely a facade? Merely a mask that cloaks the true monster within? With one more kill I will be forced to accept the hard truth…that Ruby is a cold-blooded psychopath willing to drain the life from another living creature without any apparent remorse.

On the plus side though, isn't she cute?!

43 comments:

  1. hehehe I love this story! She's so adorable! Has there been any cause for worry recently? :P

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    1. Nope luckily she's refrained from any more murders :)

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  2. Oh . . . oh . . . oh . . .

    Snowdoll is at two kills as well. Her first was a mouse. Rob insisted it was my imagination and I insisted that there was mouse in the house. Snowdoll provided the evidence. I was sad, albeit, vindicated.

    The second was just last year when Rob gleefully announced we had a skink living in our back yard. A few minutes later, I wondered why Snowdoll wasn't greeting me in her usual manner. She was proudly sitting beside the evidence of the skink's non-living status, once again proving Rob wrong because obviously said skink was inside and not in the back yard.

    More horrifying, however, was my finding the skink's tail in the bathroom later that evening.

    We're talking dismemberment now. Two kills with the second including a dismemberment. The violence has escalated.

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    1. Snowball sounds like she is not to be messed with :)

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  3. Hahahah I love kitties! Our cat is indoor only but he "kills" feather mice and puts them in our shoes. Thank goodness we actually don't have mice because I'm not sure I would take a real life, dead mouse in my shoe.

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  4. Ha! This post reminded me of this, which I think you'll appreciate: http://www.goodeatsfanpage.com/humor/otherhumor/dog_cat_diary.htm

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  5. Unfortunately it seems you have a natural born killer on your hands. As this is a past-written story, I can only imagine how high the kill count has risen.

    I only wish my cats were as dedicated to the follow through, instead they take much glee in torturing the mouse for hours on end (if allowed) without ending its misery. And if we do find a body, it is only a terrified head or decapitated torso left behind, the rest mysteriously vanished...

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    1. lol wow...sounds like your cats are especially devious!!

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  6. Well written Keith, happy you decided to repost that initial blog. For I would have never came to reading it otherwise. Made me laugh several times and hell, to be honest I don't even really like cats. I'm more of a dog's person myself. None the less I like your cat, she really is adorable! Might be worth to write a sequel on that post with a picture on how she looks now!

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    1. Stephane I have to tell you, I was never a cat person either until I got Ruby, now I wouldn't trade her for anything! Now if only I could keep her from murdering lol...

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  7. Thanks for sharing your story. Her expression in that photo is adorable.

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    1. Thanks Pablo - it's probably the cutest picture that I have of her.

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  8. I think it's generally hard to instill morality in pets. Not that they don't have compassion or can't love. I just think they're conditioned a certain way. They can grow bonds with humans because humans can grow bonds with them. A mouse, on the other hand, is largely incapable of relating to a cat and overcoming its predatory instincts.

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  9. Aww! What a sweet, murderous kitty! :) Haha! Seriously, though. She's cute.

    (I have a dog who likes to bring her Mommy dead snakes.)

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    1. Oh wow - you don't see that from dogs very often.

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  10. Cats, like other animals, have a survival instinct, an instinct to kill. It is a part of nature. They do not think about things in the same way that humans do and it is unfair to push our morals and beliefs onto them, anthropomorphizing them.

    However, this should not be used as an excuse to allow pets to go on "killing sprees," especially in regards to animals, of which cats are not natural predators. A significant number of bird fatalities are caused by cats and other such house pets, which has negatively affected population stability and threatens various avian species.

    I honestly love cats. Though, I do often find myself torn with the indoors/outdoors dilemma. Safety for wildlife versus crushing a cat's spirit by denying it access to nature. With some serious planning and implementing, there may be a happy medium.

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    1. Yes the indoor/outdoor dilemma is a big one actually. I keep Ruby 100% indoors for safety purpopses (a lot of dogs in the neighborhood that I live in)

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    2. Then where are the mice coming from!?

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    3. I wish I knew - both of them got in the house somehow...

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  11. This post had me laughing out loud. Oh cats...why are you so funny?

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    1. I don't know but I think they're the funniest of animals!!

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  12. Oh, don't be fooled by those BIG eyes... she has it in for you! Heartbreaker is her middle name... MEGA cute! :)

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  13. Hahahah! Very funny story my friend!
    Beware! :P

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  14. Omg she is soooo cute!! And, I had a cat about a year ago, and her name was Ruby!!
    This story made me laugh out loud many times. This story reminded me so much of my Ruby! The whole jumping on the leg and running through the room side ways...I love it!
    Thanks for making me laugh today!

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    1. Wow I can't believe we both had cats named Ruby! And yes she is quite the entertaining creature :)

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  15. Pretty sure cats spend most of their time plotting world domination ;)

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    1. Yes Hannah I believe that you are correct haha

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  16. That just made me laugh right out loud and I even showed this to my Mum. Cats have always made me wonder whether they are secretly plotting how to take over the world, it's the intense staring. But they are adorable. xxx

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    1. Yes they always seem like they're up to something!!

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  17. You have such a sweet little cat... and a very interesting way of telling her story! Glad she's not a serial killer... yet ;)

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  18. haha I love it...but she looks so innocent in the picture

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  19. Such a sweet kitty! And she may have been leaving the mice there as a gift for you . . .

    Our cats are indoors only. They are much safer that way. Indoors only cats live on average years longer than outdoor cats. And indoor environments can be made to be very stimulating for kitties. Look at Ruby. She turned your house into a safari! :-)

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    1. LOL yes she's most definitely turned it into a safari :)

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