Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Ageless Love...

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“Being someone’s first love may be great, but to be their last is beyond perfect” ~Anonymous  

About 6 weeks ago, at a function that I was attending with a friend, I met an elderly couple who have been together over 40 years. Their names were Walt and Mavis. As we were chatting, I was simply spellbound by their story. They talked of how they met (which is an amazing story in and of itself) and about their courtship.

They also spoke of how they fell in love…

Mavis spoke with a smile, telling of how it was her that “wooed Walt” rather than the other way around – which she said was almost unheard of at that time. Walt, who was the much more soft-spoken of the two, simply smilled and nodded his head saying "she chased me". Her persistence paid off, as they had their first date at an ice cream shop. The rest is history :)
I walked away from this conversation feeling so inspired. Isn’t love amazing? Isn’t it heartwarming to know how timeless it is and how enduring it is? These two souls found each other over 40 years ago and their souls are still intertwined to this day. Wow. What an amazing and wonderful thing.

What can we learn from couples who have been together for this long?

107 comments:

  1. Love is being able to love yourself first than being able to love them through the good times and the bad and still hold their hand throughout it all.

    Beautiful post!

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  2. it is really cool...i love talking to those couples that made it...that have outlasted the wave of divorce and all the troubles and still really love each other....would love to hear more of their story...

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  3. i love this! couples like them are so inspiring. such a great way to start the new year!

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  4. :-) 54 years married, here.

    What can you 'Youngin's' learn?

    It helps to start off, with the quaint old idea, that marriage is permanent. It helps a lot. Especially in the rough times.

    And pays-off-big-time, in the later years.

    Hugs,
    "Auntie"

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  5. Love is truly ageless ... an inspirational story :-)

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  6. What an inspiring story! I love learning about couples like that.

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  7. What a great example of partnership. I love reading stuff like that.

    I assume there are many factors that make a partnership last that long... but I have to agree with one of the comments above that starting with the idea of "marriage is permanent" helps a lot. From that point of view, one HAS to go out of her/his comfort zone to make it work during the rougher times. To me, marriage allows me to grow as a person. It's quite selfish actually!! haha! I'm doing it all for me ;) Kidding. Kinda.

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  8. Oh! My heart just got butterflies. Love this and am working on being one of those old couples people one day talk about. :)

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  9. love is an amazing thing
    painful or pleasant
    building or breaking
    brief or endless
    complex or simple

    yes, love is an amazing thing.
    xx
    Lulu
    Breakfast After 10

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  10. A true love ever last! You put it really sweet here... glad u met the couple.

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  11. Nice & sweet post!

    x Hannah
    http://theadventurouslifestylelab.blogspot.be/

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  12. AAAAAWWWWW that is precious. Working on 27 years myself, and the best advice I have for young whipper snappers is communication and compromise.

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  13. Such love is so sweet and God honouring. If I ever get married I want just such a love. And it is nice to meet people who have it, ones who aren't angry with each other and always bickering. It gives hope.

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  14. So inspiring! Even though I haven't been with my partner as long as 40 years, I've learned that love isn't about being able to take someone out for a romantic meal, or buying tons of roses or spoiling someone/being spoiled to no end. Usually we'll stay home and watch movies, or even do nothing at all and sleep all day.

    It's a silly thing really, but it makes me very happy and content.

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  15. I love this post and the photo! Love knows no boundaries as it heals and unifies. Thank you for the smiles.

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  16. They met in a time when marriage meant "Til death do us part". You fell in love, and you worked at it. For better or worse. Lots of people now adays don't yake those vows seriously enough.
    Beautiful picture and post!

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  17. I really enjoy hearing about couples that have been together for such a long time. There really is quite a lot to learn from them as well.

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  18. The purity of true love never ceases to inspire! Happy New Year I say!

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  19. Great story. I met my wife Jilda in high school in 1968. I we dated for a few years and then I got drafted into the Army in 1971. We broke up while I was away, but when I returned, we got back together and married in 1974.
    I must admit there were times that she was angry enough with me to cut my head off with a butcher knife, and leave me twitching on the kitchen floor, but luckily that did not happen.
    We celebrate our 39th anniversary on Cinco de Mayo this year.
    The one thing I would recommend for young couples starting out is to find someone you have something in common with. We both love writing songs and playing music. It's a common thread we shared and it worked for us.
    You did a nice post.

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  20. Couples like this always give me hope. :)

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  21. Adorable couple, and a really great story. I think there must be a lot that can be learned from them. I've been with my spouse 30+ years now, and I honestly don't know what the secret is or if there is a secret, but I'm hoping for 30 more!

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  22. It makes my heart ache for exactly what they have.

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  23. So beautiful.

    Here in India, there are hardly divorces. Marriage still means an eternal bond. Holding on to the love that long, has a lot of happiness appended to it.
    Hope we find something of the similar sort too.

    Take Care ;)

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  24. That is so sweet! I am so touched by stories like this. I fear that our generation won't be able to tell stories like this because divorce is so prevalent.

    I look forward to the day my husband and I have our 40th wedding anniversary! We met in high school when I was 16 and have been together ever since. What's even more romantic? He's the only boyfriend I've ever had. Can't believe I was lucky enough to get it right on the first try :)

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  25. Lovely story!

    My husband and I shared 50 years and 364 days together until his death. To be together that long takes a lot of love and commitment through the good times and the bad times.

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  26. it's a pity that couples run to the divorce court with the first disagreement or when the lust has simmered down. Most people think marriage should be the prince and the princess who never disagree. Taking an opposite side in marriage only makes for stimulating conversation. Most people don't even recognize love when it bites them. Love is not lust. That is simply lust. It's sharing births, deaths, disappointments and mortgages. That is what makes love.

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  27. I can only hope that Mrs. Penwasser doesn't ever realize that she married way below her station.
    The fact that she's put up with me for over half her life is a ringing testimony of her love, dedication, and serious lack of taste in men.
    Great picture!

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  28. I have found lust helps. The sharing, the children and common interests are important too, obviously, but speaking personally, lust definitely helps...Axxx

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  29. What a wonderful story—and that's one of the sweetest pictures I've seen all day!

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  30. It is amazing and I am lucky enough to have the same we have been together over forty and it is wonderful to know someone so well you seem to share the same soul. Great story. It is possible. B

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  31. That is wonderful! My Grandma passed away just this fall. My Grandpa practically refused to put her in a home. She had Alzheimer's disease since at least 2000. The straw finally broke when my Grandpa was in the shower and my Grandma put on one of his shoes and one of her slippers and ran away. He got out of the shower as soon as he heard their alarm, but couldn't go after her because he couldn't find his shoe. A few hours later the cops called. A man that could not speak English found her laying in the snow; he carried her to his work. She fell and broke her hand. My Grandpa knew she had to go in a home after that. They promised each other that, that would never happen. When she passed away many were in celebration because she wasn't herself in the end. I wrote a page of all the things she did that I love. The list was pretty easy to write. She was a great Grandmother and so connected to my Grandfather.

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  32. this history id really lovely and you are special because are sensible to these lovely things:)

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  33. We have celebrated 43 years of marriage. I think it has to do with commitment to one another, plus giving one another enough space to continue to be oneself.

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  34. It certainly is amazing, and we can certainly learn a lot. The problem here is that, as a young man today, things have changed. Chivalry is practically nonexistent. Someone's idea of a "date" is to go see a movie where you barely interact, rather than go somewhere to talk and get to know each other. People are afraid of commitment, and would prefer casual sex to a meaningful relationship. Working to woo someone is such a forgotten art that girls are actually surprised when you open the door for them or give them your coat. Ah, such is the progression of a sick society.

    Just my thoughts. I think I was born about 50 years too late...

    --asmallpieceofgodsplan.blogspot.com

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  35. I'm a sucker for stories like this. I think the secret is being willing to bend and adjust, as well as having a large capacity for forgiveness. Thank goodness my husband fits that description, and I take lessons from him every day.

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  36. To have such a love is amazing, when you find the right one, it is all the sweeter, just have to find them.

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  37. Wonderful, thanks for recounting their story. I think we need to hear more stories like theirs...instead of the latest who-cheated-who celebrity tabloid fodder. A wonderful new year to you Keith! :-)

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  38. Yes, love that lasts through good and bad times is hard to come by.
    I have an anniversary coming up at the end of the month - 41 years!!

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  39. Sounds like a match made in heaven.

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  40. Love is a wonderful thing, but it has to be mutual between the two parties. Together, they have to keep growing and building each other up.

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  41. What a sweet experience! I think probably hearing these stories when we are past our 20s and 30s means even more. I'd think it was something to strive for in my 20s but wouldn't have changed my turnstyle dating behavior.

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  42. I think we need to learn about patience and about "not winning" and "not getting your way all the time." We need to learn that important things are never easy, never perfect, and worth fighting for.

    I'm at 18 years of marriage and counting ...

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  43. It is not always easy to be married so long. We have been married 45 years. We had different interests and did not push each other to be always together. You have to be very patient with each other and don’t hold grudges – forget the bad, always be optimistic and not selfish. Thanks for coming to my blog.

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  44. I will be married 39 years in May. It takes a lot of give and take! l ol

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  45. It is beautiful to see two people so much in love that time does not tarnish their relationship, rather it polishes and makes it shine. I think too often, anymore, relationships are treated with too much frivolity. I have heard people say "he would be a perfect first husband" implying they plan on having more than one. Once upon a time love and marriage were sacred things that meant for life. What beauty there is to still see it shining out, like a beacon for others to follow.

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  46. love these stories of couples who are so in love after so many years. they are always so encouraging, and inspiring :)

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  47. Oh how I love, love. Hopeless romantic for life! Wonderful post, Keith.

    Hope your having a great week.

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  48. What a sweet story. It brings such happiness just to see couples that are joyful in their years together.

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  49. Wow! Isn't it amazing to find two people that much in love - and so rare for that love to last so long?
    That is exactly the kind of love I longed for from a very young age, but unfortunately it never quite worked out that way.
    Now, though, your wonderful post has given me new hope! Love isn't just for the very young, is it?
    How I admire this beautiful couple :)

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  50. I would say they are very patient people! It's not as easy as they are making it look. ;)

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  51. Lovely photo and they sound a lovely couple too.

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  52. I love their names. I love their story. I love their love. I wish I could be at their 50th wedding anniversary party. Now that would be something:)

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  53. So sweet.
    I was going to leave a comment about my Grandparents and they're love but you've inspired a blog post!! :)

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  54. My parents have been together for 33 years. I'll have to ask them what their secret is.

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  55. Oh my word! This is just precious. :) <3 I love seeing elderly couples who just adore each other! It's a beautiful thing. <3
    xx

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  56. So sweet. I have been with my husband 16 years today! I can easily see us being Walt and Mavis in another 24 years :)

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  57. That's awesome. Love is such a crazy thing. I think love is just about every emotion rolled up into one and labeled love! Good for Walt and Mavis, I am happy for them!

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  58. How awesome that you had this lil moment with this couple. 40 years? Wow! It reminds me of my grandparents who have been together 66 years this year. It's crazy how true love can be so strong. I love that Mavis wooed Walt. That's so classic yet so rebellious for back then! =)We can definitely learn a lot, and I'm guessing patience & never giving up on the person is something they could teach us!

    Thanks for sharing! Happy New Year too btw! =)

    Ergo - Blog

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  59. Beautiful feeling indeed....i always wanted to be the kind of lover who breathe together and then die on the same bed together....so aesthetic is such love...but not easily attainable....:)

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  60. I want to be that couple when I'm old and gray :) My husband and I met when we were 11 and should have a pretty rad story 40 years from now!

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  61. Such a sweet story. They sound like they really LIKE each other. Which is what I think the key is. You can love someone and not like them one bit. Then you tend to be snarky and unappreciative to/of them. If you LIKE someone the connection and sharing just comes naturally.

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  62. That reminds me of the jewelry commercial where the young couple walks hand in hand and they part to walk around the elderly couple who is walking arm in arm. That's going to be the hubs and me some day!

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  63. reminds me of this interview I watched with some couple that'd been together for 70 years.
    one of their quotes that stuck with me was "we came from a time where if something was broke you fixed it, not replaced it"
    there's a lot to be said right there about how much the world has changed.

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  64. What I learned was that I shouldnt have waited for the man to make the first move. Too late smart, hee hee. I ADORE this story. Keep 'em coming! Love the title of your blog, by the way. Me, too - an unapologetic dreamer.

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  65. Thanks for stopping by my blog! Yours is pretty cool too. I'm digging your background photo.

    Such a sweet story too!

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  66. Sweet story, Keith. We have to remember that all marriages have disagreements and conflicts, but the good ones work on them. Because that is what life is all about. Patience, tolerance, good communication and a good sense of humor. A good marriage needs two people who commit to each other. The "happily ever after" of the movies does not exist as such. It is built on a regular basis. Thanks for the story.

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  67. Aaawww! Love to hear these stories! I've been married 40 years (we married very young) and I would say the best advice is to treat your spouse like you would treat your very best friend with love, patience, kindness, and always, always keep a good sense of humor! If you can laugh at life together, that is half the battle! xx

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  68. aww so sweet my Grandparents have nearly been married 60 years happy new year

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  69. Stories like this are few and far between. Maybe that is why we are so attracted to them. Love is a beautiful thing; could that be the reason why we continue to search for it despite our past?

    xoxo
    Sarang

    Life's Perceptions

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  70. Love is simply the most wonderful and precious thing in the world. The two are so blessed to have each other and I hope one day I'll find the person to share such a beautiful love with.

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  71. Sure forgiveness and patience are important in a long term relationship. Although there is many long term relationships which only survive because someone can cheat/disrespect his partner constantly without being caught, and it is comfortable to live together, because there is all the benefits of belonging to someone still.

    Marriage and love is great if respect and emotions are there from both sides, but to be honest I think it is very rare that both people are on the same level of honesty and loyalty in a relationship. I would not say that it is impossible though and that is why it is really nice to see real-life examples like the one of the couple`s above.

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  72. We've been married more than 43 years, and were good friends and sweeties for another eight years before that. I think the secret to longevity is to remember the good times when you hit a rough patch, and to have faith that you can make it through the bad and back to the good again. Too many people give up too soon. Of course, my husband says the secret lies in two little words: "Yes, dear." (Whether you mean 'em or not!)

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  73. I really like your story. I think there nothing sweeter for someone to have married their soul mate and still be so much in love after all those years.
    Thanks for leaving a comment on my blog.
    JB

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  74. I think it is great that you profiled something so wonderful! It seems like "these days" we are all so quick to throw away what isn't working instead of putting in the work to make it better. Great reminder! Thanks for visiting my blog!

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  75. There's a beauty that comes with the patience and grace borne of long-term love.

    We should all be so blessed!

    Pearl

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  76. That's a lovely story. It provides hope for the rest of us, doesn't it?
    I've always told my hubby, that I want to be one of those old couples who's still together after 50 years, and still hold hands etc. He just laughs at me, but it's the picture I have of us in my mind :)
    xx

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  77. I am so glad you stopped in. It's always wonderful to find good new blogs.

    You write very good and this story is inspiring. My in-laws were married 62 years.

    My husband and I have been married for thirty. I married him when I was twenty five years old. I have been married to him for over half my life.

    We are still very much in love. It is stronger and better now, in every way, than it was in the beginning.

    Thanks again for stopping by my blog. I will definitely being adding you to my roll.

    I hope you have a grand weekend and a wonderful happy new year!

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  78. sweet post...my heart has been intwined with my husbands for 42 years of marriage plus three sweet years of dating before. I feel very blessed.

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  79. Happy New Year, Keith! And thanks for sharing these heartwarming snippets. I agree with what several people have said here - that too many relationships end too soon because one person isn't willing to weather a rough patch, even though that would ultimately make them feel closer.

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  80. Hi Keith .. I'm always inspired by friends, colleagues and people in general who stay together through thick and thin - it's endearing and reassuring that marriage does work ...

    Love is - that's definitely it .. love is .....

    Happy New Year - cheers Hilary

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  81. Keith, thank you for stopping by my blog! I love this post. I'm inspired by couples that are together that long. My parents were married 30yrs..but my Dad passed away young and my Mom never remarried. My hubby and I will celebrate 39yrs. this summer. We love each other more now than before...funny how that works! Happy New Year to you and I'll be back....

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  82. I love seeing sweet elderly couples! :)

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  83. Timeless true love stories like these give me so much hope!!! Wonderful post, thank you for sharing!!! :)

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  84. Couples like these truly inspire me and help me to continue give me hope and believe in everlasting love and that it exsist.

    Thank you for a sweet post!

    Madison:)

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  85. My husband and I celebrated our 39th anniversary last month, but actually we met two years before that. It's wonderful to share a life over time, and I really love the quote above under the picture.

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  86. ohhhhhhh....
    this made me smile.

    :)

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  87. Love stories like this one. Always make me feel warm, and make me smile. :) Thank you, Keith.

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  88. Hi again, thanks for stopping by my blog. Yes do please follow. I think i'm following you. If not, I'll take care of that. :-)

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  89. I do want a love that lasts forever...

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  90. What a sweet story and awesome picture!

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  91. Yes, it's a sweet story! I have been married for 53 yrs to my husband, and our love is still growing!!

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  92. “Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be, the last of life, for which the first was made." Robert Browning

    Love is not easily found, some never find it, others find it but lose it quickly. Those who find true and everlasting love are lucky beyond measure. :)

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  93. Oh this is SO cute! I love the idea of growing old with someone, and it's really heartwarming to know that it exists out there.
    Thanks for sharing!
    Trish

    www.jellybonesblog.blogspot.com

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  94. Thanks for stopping by my blog. Love this story - we have been married for 25 years - been together 26 years and we do sometimes talk about how we met and got together.
    Have the best day !
    Me

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  95. I haven't been by your blog for a while, Keith - I was working on my own love story ;) We got married in October and so the second half of 2012 was very busy! Things are just settling now. Nice to be back here! Thank you for sharing this beautiful story. I love love LOVE hearing things like this. It fans the flames in my own soul - the desire to make sure that I give as much love as I can in my relationship. Ever heard this song? http://www.guitarworld.com/exclusive-premiere-rocket-summer-old-love "I want to love like my grandfather loves his wife." Even though I'm no longer searching, I believe my heart benefits so much from actively looking out for love - in real-life scenes, in films and songs and stories... Because I'm giving my soul the message that I KNOW that love is hugely important, and I think somehow that has a direct effect on the love in my life :) It magnifies what's already there.

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  96. On a similar theme, I read this about a year ago and it stayed in my head. I just managed to find it again now on Google by remembering a few key words. Thought you might enjoy :)

    Submitted by Peter Sarstedt (I think)

    "Yesterday, while I was reading at a coffee shop in the city, this old couple well into their 70’s was sitting right besides me enveloped in this intense conversation about film. What fascinated me most wasn’t the subject of the conversation, but the passion in which they spoke with. Hand gestures were flying rampant and they had this deep and involving eye contact with one another. There was this sense of intimacy, a vibe of absolute comfort between these two individuals, who probably spent most of their adult lives together. They were engaging in this invigorated discourse even at their old age. At that moment I realized that passion never dies, it’s forever ingrained in us, even as we grow wrinkled and ripe, we still have that need to express our passions. For about an hour, I watched these two in admiration, knowing that one day I want exactly what they have."

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  97. I think these couples can teach us to not be concerned with so many trivial things. They started dating in an age where there was no Facebook or text-messages. They didn't feel the need to announce every detail of their lives on websites. A big difference in our time is the need to document and broadcast almost everything that happens. I think it has hurt the dating and marriage process. Too many people have to receive feedback and comments before they can do anything.

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  98. During one of my stints as a waitress, I had a table that came in celebrating their 'anniversary'. When I asked how many years they'd been together, the lady responded with the number of months instead (something like 387) and said that they make it a point to celebrate every day that they have together. I think that's the key to a happy marriage, like the one my parents share - celebrating each other in the little things.

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  99. Catching up on you :-) I think this is one of my favorites thus far. Mainly because I, too, love elderly couples who have made it ... they are treasure troves of history. Plus, I love the simplicity of things back then. At least, it seemed simpler ... I'd love to just hang out at the ice cream shop for a date :-)

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  100. Wonderful story. We shouldn´t let trivial things to burn out our passion, that´s what I have learnt

    I am new to your blog, it´s very interesting, I will follow you

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  101. This is a great post. Lasting love is the most beautiful thing in the world.

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  102. There must be a comfort and calmness that comes with being with someone for a long time. I suppose it can backfire (as in become staid and boring) but it must be nice to really know someone like that.


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  103. Keith, this is such a precious story. To find someone to be with for that long and truly know each other. To be companions. To be friends. My maternal grandparents have been married for 60 years, my grandfather wooing my grandmother away from the leader of a polka band, her boyfriend at the time. They have had such amazing adventures together. Gives me hope! Such an inspiring post!!

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  104. My grandparents were with each other up until their 80s. My Grandma got Alzheimer's disease. My grandpa had a really hard time letting her go into a home! It finally happened where he didn't much have a choice. She ran away when he was in the shower. She took one of his shoes and her slipper to escape. My Grandpa heard the alarm going off. He got out of the shower as fast as he could, but couldn't find his one shoe. Someone that spoke only Spanish found her. She had fallen and broke her hand. It was then that the police station and all of his kids had to say, "She had to go to a home." He was ok after that, but I know it was really hard! They promised each other that they wouldn't let one another go in a home. She was the type of person that did it all before she got sick.

    One good thing came out of it. She was my oldest son's best friend for a few years. They were on the same wave length for awhile.

    When she passed away this fall my Grandpa was happy for her.

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