Monday, March 25, 2013

Contolling Only What we can Control...


“Why worry about things you can't control? The activity of worrying keeps you immobilized.” ~Wayne Dyer

One of the more irrational things that almost all of us do (myself included) is worry about things outside of our control. Why spend our time and emotional resources on something that we literally have zero control over? We should only worry about the things that we have control over….right? Even though the rational side of ourselves is well aware of how pointless it is to worry about such things, we do it anyway. After all, we all know that rationality is much easier in theory than in practice :)

I think it’s human nature to want to control things…when we cede control we become vulnerable, and vulnerability is sometimes scary.

I have been making a conscious effort to refrain from worrying about things that are outside of my control and I must say that it has definitely made a difference. Is it easy? Of course not. It takes the same practice and effort that any lifestyle change takes. But as long as you’re committed to it, the mindset of worrying over things outside of your control can be changed.

Do you find yourself frequently worrying about things outside of your control?

169 comments:

  1. Great post I must admit I am a worryer a part of my childhood that stays with me. Worry is such a hard thing to control, I try not to worry about things I cannot control and yes it is so much easier but it is I have to say one of the hardest challenges I have had to overcome. B

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  2. YES! I even put 'worrywart' on my blog 'about me' and business card!

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  3. Great post, yes I'm a worrier and like you have done I need to make a conscious effort not to worry about things I can't control, it's been added to the list of things to work on!

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  4. Interesting post, as always, Keith, but the key word is "control" and in reality we can control nothing. Lack of this ability is not a license for abdication of responsibility. I can't control an election so why should I vote? or care? or even get up in the morning. I think there is a basic need for humans to "understand", to explore even when we can't control.
    I want to understand life around me and be an active participant. I can "love" a butterfly without wanting to control it. Sometimes the very act of control (capture) can be destructive. Not being able to control is often used as an excuse to opt out. "Control" is a very horrible word.

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  5. You've got this pegged exactly. So many people think that worrying actually accomplishes something (my wife prime among them) when in truth it is one of the most useless of all endeavors.

    I'm not Wayne Dyer fan, but this quote has it right. I also like the phrase "Don't sweat the small stuff....and it's all small stuff."

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  6. I'm admittedly a chronic worrier, although I've long given up on worrying about things over which I have no control. My own personal worries seem to be sufficient enough!

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  7. yes...i think every person wants to control thing
    n yes i do that....great post...luv ur writing!!

    keep smiling

    http://chasingpave.blogspot.in/

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  8. Yes - these days I am obsessing over my mother's frail health - sucks to be 90 and practically immobile. I can visit and encourage but can do very little to take away the fear and uncertainty. :(

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  9. I'm convinced there's a "worry gene" passed down in my family, but I'm working hard at minimizing its effect.

    That's a great quote by Dyer. I sometimes feel frozen by worry - imagining what people will think or say, what if it's not the best choice, what if I should've done the other instead, etc. It's exhausting, and I want to, need to, put my energy elsewhere.

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  10. No, I don't worry about what I can't change. At least, 90% of the time I don't worry. The hubs now will fret and stew about everything until he is practically ill. He says I'm a cold fish because I refuse to get worked up. I say I'm just practical.

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  11. This is one of the hardest lessons I've had to learn. The art of letting go and I still struggle. The mantra, Let Go and Let God comes to mind.

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  12. I like that quote, worrying keeps you from moving forward. Good reminder! !

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  13. I used to be the constant 'worry wort' -- but I realized it was killing me -- I needed to learn to breathe and let go! And now my fave saying is 'it's all good' :)

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  14. I worry all the time; I come from a family of worriers. I do try to let things go, but sometimes (as you said) that's a pretty hard thing to do. I really believe that it's an issue of faith, though, so I'm always working to do better.

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  15. I agree it's human nature. I agree too that you can get your mind around it w/a little effort and a lot of practice. :)

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  16. Excellent quote by Dr. Dyer and awesome reminders in your post to only worry about things within our control. Otherwise we lose our power and succumb to fear.

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  17. Hi Keith. Thanks for stopping by today.
    I am a born worrier! Or should I say I used to be. It will sneak by me every now and then but I have come to realize the toll it takes...energy wise...and I back away quietly (most of the time).
    Family can and does create a lot of worry for us. Sometimes however even family has to take a 'back burner'.
    Have a great day.

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  18. Great post! I am a world class worrier. But I am making an effort to stop worrying/ruminating over things I cannot control. It really is a lifestyle change, as you say.

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  19. I come from a long line of worriers. It's embedded deep in my DNA. I try not to, asking God thru prayer to ease my burdens, but it sneaks in sometimes, causing me to lose sleep.

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  20. I did when I was younger. Now it no longer bothers me because I focus on the big picture and the end result.

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  21. A very good post to start the week. I have always been a worrier, even when I knew my worrying was doing nothing but raising my blood pressure.

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  22. I like to stay in the present, it helps me reduce worry. If I feel myself starting to worry, I imagine the best outcome instead and become grounded and present. I have so much more fun when I give up control and see what happens!

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  23. This topic, is why I can no longer follow "The News."

    When once-upon-a-time, I was a total "news junkie."

    It didn't mess with my equilibrium as much, then. But now it does. So that's a thing of the past.

    :-)

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  24. RIGHT?!? Is there a magic pill that I can take? A no fucks given pill? I hate hate hate this about myself. I obsess, OBSESS over things that I have absolutely no control over, and my feelings and thoughts about it will not affect a damn thing. Mainly, I do this with people. Let's invent a pill and get rich.

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  25. Yeah I do from time to time, I have to stop and tell myself to shut the heck up and move on, as just sitting there dwelling on it is a pain.

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  26. I do it all day long...If there is a bday I worry about all the friends getting along which I have no control over...I worry about my friend's problems & family problems that I have not one ounce of control over. It's hard not to, but I'm trying!!

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  27. We all worry about things we have no control over. We all know that it's pointless and that we shouldn't. Yet we still do.

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  28. The simple answer is yes. It does not make any sense, but I worry. Too much. Must try and stop :)

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  29. No, I really don't worry much - a have a tinge every so often but over the years have learned that it doesn't go any good and takes joy away from the present.
    When I start to worry, I say a prayer and give my worry to Jesus. It is amazing how well that works. : )

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  30. Yesss i do it a lott, But i must confess YOGA has helped me immensely

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  31. I tend to think of control as an illusion anyway. The chaos and maniacal humor inherent in the universe can be quite entertaining if one allows for it.

    Of course, paradoxically, I loath surprises, which gets my other half to often, baselessly, accuse me of being a dysfunctional control freak...

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  32. I wonder if there is anything at all that we actually have any control over. I can't think of one thing. Of course, some people think there is no such thing as free will and that everything we do is conditioned and determined in advance. So, any way, worrying about things is a way of trying to control that which we cannot control, which might be everything.

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  33. So crazy you are talking about this. My boss wants me to update a program on my computer. Well I did. Now it says, "Cannot access the 'XPress Preferences' file." I don't know what I'm doing. He wants me to call tech support. I feel like I'm going to screw something up big time here. I want to say, "HELP!"

    I have that feeling like my face is burning up. I just don't want to mess things up on this computer!

    The boss man knows this isn't my thing. He has other people in the office that do much better with this type of thing than I do.

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  34. I think we live in a world of control freaks. No one wants to be vulnerable and thus, people have trouble enjoying each other and life in general.

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  35. You hit the nail on the head with "rationality is much easier in theory than in practice." I think it's just human nature to worry so it is hard to keep it in check sometimes. My grandma is such a worry wart and I've seen how it has affected her throughout her life. I really try my hardest to not worry! It actually makes it easier for me if it's something out of my control. If it's something that's a direct result of my actions, then I worry about the outcome.

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  36. ah i think this is the curse of life...there is much good, but i think in some ways we strive for that kind of control though it is fruitless and frustrating and will wear you out as well....

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  37. It has taken awhile for me to reach this point. Really all we are ever able to control is ourselves! That is enough worry for me!:-)

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  38. This is something I can definitely relate to. I'm constantly worrying about things, some of which may actually never happen. If only there was a way to turn that part of my brain off...

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  39. i worry constantly. inherited that from my mother. thankfully, she also gave me her smile.

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  40. Perhaps, but not frequently! I too aware of my ability of which is possible and impossible to control by myself. Nice post indeed.

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  41. I find I worry when I start to imagine things, like what if...
    I too worry, for other people, not so much myself. I'm like my mother.
    And I too, am happy I got her smile!
    Reading poetry, meditating, breathing, (YOGA) works wonders.

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  42. I worry a lot about my family. I agree with the above post, yoga is great!

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  43. I worry about so much because I'm trying to control so much! However, I tend to find a lot of people not worrying enough about things that they can have control of, example - the environment or species that are in harms way.

    The whole control thing has to have a balance to it, you can only do so much, but if a lot of people do something (even if it's a little thing) then the world wouldn't have to worry about so much.

    Such a crazy thing control is.

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  44. Yes, I worry about things that I have no control over whatsoever. Hubby is even worse than I am and his sister takes the prize.

    Have a terrific day. ☺

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  46. What about worrying about things that ARE in your control?

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  47. I don't sweat the big stuff, just the small stuff. I have some friends who are totally neurotic, it's great being around them because it makes me realise you can't control everything

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  48. I don't really worry about things outside my control these days. I did when I was younger (college days and a little after). But as life moves along, I think you just mellow out about it. Do what you can and then trust the powers that be. Glad to hear you are letting go of some of that worry.

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  49. Sometimes Im worry (by the kids, by my mom and dad etc.) but I now I know more than ever I cant control many things:( so only I pray and wait.

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  50. Oh I am such a worrier at times
    especially when it comes to my health and my family's
    but I know I need to control it
    because it is not good for my health and mind.

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  51. I have always had a problem about being a worrywart but am constantly working on it and improving day by day!

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  52. Yes, silly as it is - I do worry!

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  53. Yes, I do worry about things I care about, whether I can influence them or not.

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  54. Yeah. I am a big advocate of "don't sweat the small stuff" when it comes to my kids. But I find myself stressing over these sorts of things on a regular basis - suppose this is what makes us human!

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  55. I've always been a worrier. I feel much better when I know everything that's going on and feel like I have a plan for every scenario. It's not likely that I'll ever be ready for anything, but hell I still like to try!

    -asmallpieceofgodsplan.blogspot.com

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  56. Oh yes - I just had a weekend of worrying over something out of my control, and today it turned out it was all a misunderstanding! So much energy wasted. At least I was aware of it throughout and was trying to pull myself out of it, but it invaded my dreams, too. Always learning...

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  57. I don't frequently worry about things that are out of my control, rather than when one thing comes up, I do stress, and worry, and ponder the outcome. I find myself praying for right decisions to be made, even though I know answers won't come for weeks or months. Right now we are in a court battle. It's been 5 years ongoing, and I do worry myself sick about the outcome for days leading up to each court date. Will the right decisions finally be made? Will we finally get answers we have needed for so long? It doesn't do any good to worry like this, but it's part of my human nature, and I find it very hard to change that thinking.

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  58. I'm a worrier. But I tell hubby that I'm not worrying about things that might happen, I'm actually going on scenarios for dealing with things that might happen. I'm preparing. Sounds better than I'm worrying. lol

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  59. I too come from a long line of worriers but have learned to derail it. Fortunately for me nothing keeps me awake at night. I don't think we have control over much at all. I go for long walks, read, bake something to diffuse it, and realizing who really owns the problem is a big help. Often it is not me.

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  60. Hi Keith - I used to worry far more .. now I let things happen and get on with life - doing as I see right when I can ... tough really on what others think - after all I'm me and know who I am, where I'm going, and why I'm doing now what I'm doing ...

    Gosh that's convoluted ... I won't worry about it though!! Cheers Hilary

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  61. Not worrying is easier said than done! I'm getting better at letting some worries go, but it's a challenge every day. Hope your day is worry free, Keith!

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  62. I agree with you. Worrying does not help. But we can't avoid vulnerability. No matter what we do, we are vulnerable. If control is an illusion, how can we not be vulnerable?

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  63. I just got in my second collision in a month. I am wondering WHAT ONE EARTH IS WRONG WITH ME. I've had 18 years of now collisions and now BAM, no pun intended. I need to breathe and just be happy that I am ok. I've made it through crazy snowstorms and no collisions there. These have been tiny fender benders. NOw I'll be prepared if I ever get into a BIG ONE.

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  64. Oh my- always...but I try so hard not to! (I love the picture!)

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  65. Worry really doesn't help a thing but it seems to be an easy past time to slip into.

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  66. Part of the human condition, I think. I find meditation really helps me, and being around nature. Life has its own perfect synchronicity, and the more we see it in action, the more we know it is safe for us to trust it. :)

    I am a worrier, and over the years it has gotten better with these techniques and more. Currently putting it into practise as I find a new house. :)

    Thank you for the reminder, Keith. :)

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  67. I gave up worry for Lent...oh no wait..that was guilt

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  68. Not at all. My mother-in-law, bless her heart, was The Worry Queen. Husband is a worrier. I say he worries so much there's no need for me to. So I don't.

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  69. Guilty as charged! And I know so well the bible tells us not to do it! For one thing, most of the things we worry about never happen. And it drains us as well. And drags us down. But our human emotions are just so overpowering! I have actually prayed more than once and told God I am turning everything over to Him and to help me not to worry. Good post today.

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  70. I would like to say that I do not worry, but that is probably not accurate.

    What I should say is that I do not worry as much as some, and am conscious when I do worry and try to cut back then and there, knowing that many times there's little I can do to change the outcome off anything in particular that I have not already done...

    Pearl

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  71. You are preaching to the choir! Yes, and it takes a conscious effort on my part not to worry. I think, as a parent, this can be especially difficult when your desire is to protect your kids and you cannot control all the circumstances they will face on their own journey.

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  72. I'm a natural worrier but you make some good points!

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  73. Just trying to think what I last worried about - can't remember so it must have resolved itself

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  74. I have an 18-year-old son who gives me PLENTY to worry about! He's such a free spirit, always so sure nothing bad will happen to him... You're right though, worrying changes absolutely nothing. It just drives the worrier crazy :)

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  75. O, I hear you -- just type "worry" in my blog search box lol.. But you know, with God's help, through prayer and learning to discipline my thought life, I've come a long way!

    You might be interested in my post here: http://bikbikroro.blogspot.sg/2011/10/on-wilkie-collins-and-system-of-life.html, and this one is especially good: http://bikbikroro.blogspot.sg/2011/11/why-worry.html. As Andy says there, "Can you, by worrying in this now, bring certainty to the next now? Can you, by worrying today, create certainty in the next day? No.

    "If I've done all I can do in the now that I do have some control over, can God be trusted in the next now that I have no control over? If so, I'm not going to worry. And I'm not not going to worry because I know whats going to happen -- I'm not going to worry because I'm trusting the only One that can do anything about tomorrow".

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  76. I agree completely! No point in worrying about things that are outside of our control. I do not worry about things often, and I am getting better and better at this as I get older. Life is short and I want to put my energy toward things that make me happy.

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  77. I do do that at times and then God will give me so much I HAVE to turn it over to Him. sandie

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  78. I'm a firm beliver of the Serenity Prayer.

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  79. I do worry about things that are wrong or going wrong. Some of them are within my control and I do take care of them. Most of them are not in my control. Like Artful Diva, I believe in the Serenity Prayer as well, when nothing works.
    I do try though, with my words at least.

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  80. i'm not really the worrying kind, but when i worry about something it usually is things i can't control! x

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  81. I don't really think I do :) But I will admit to liking to control my list of tasks for the day.

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  82. I'm a huge worrier. from 2008 - 2011 I wrote in a blog about the things that worried me. It seems ridiculous to read the things that I was laying awake thinking about all night, but at the time i couldn't break free.

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  83. for me this has been a constant learning experience over the years; not to worry so much. something I have learned now that I am older. I don't get into controlling something-I just have always worried too much over the outcome.

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  84. As a recovering alcoholic, 35 years sober, I was early on introduced to and embraced the Serenity Prayer. It sure makes life a whole lot easier.

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  85. Why worry?


    We are human...... That's why we worry x

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  86. Do I do this? Uh, only every single day. Like you said, it's irrational to worry about things I can't control. I try to remind myself that to keep calm. I can only control my little slice of the world, so I'll try to keep my worrying there.

    The other quote I keep in mind when I start worrying is from my aunt. She always told me 'If a problem can be fixed with money, it's not really a problem'. That helps me keep things in perspective.

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  87. i worry a lot. too much. it gives me anxiety and insomnia, but it's so damn hard to turn off. i just have to remember to breathe. that i'm ok.

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  88. I do indeed and only recently discovered that i have to actively control going into that dark zone...it is terrible but doable...thank you for the reminder...hope this is a very worryfree week : )

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  89. I used to do this a lot more frequently then I do now. Thank goodness. Once you start noticing yourself doing it I think it's easier to stop.. although I have not stopped all together.. yet. LOL

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  90. How funny! This was actually one of my two new years resolutions! As a type A personality, I am a chronic worrier about controlling EVERYTHING, and I mean EVERYTHING. It was exhausting. It has been a long haul and I by all means am still not perfect at it, but I have definitely improved in stopping to try to do everything perfectly and have everything work out, even when beyond me. Also, funny you commented you love Ron Pope! I DO TOO! I have never met anyone else who knows of him! My favorite song from him is "Headlights on the Highway."

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  91. It varies for me. It's all of nothing here.

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  92. I've never been a worrier. I've seen what it can do, and how miserable it can make someone. I do worry sometimes, though it isn't one of my biggest struggles I suppose. But when things go completely insane and out of our control, it is easy to worry. When things make no sense and we don't know how it will turn out. It is always hard to give those times to God.

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  93. Mostly not a worrier, but I don't have much to worry about. I have good health, as does my husband, healthy grown up kids, food and shelter, and I believe the universe is unfolding as it should. I'm human, so sometimes I catch myself ; )

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  94. I'm working on letting go of the fears. I'm seeing real improvement at last.

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  95. we cannot control so many things.. people, events, the weather..etc...we can only control; our reaction to these things.. so gotta just do the best we can and let the results up to God.

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  96. I practice pre-emptive worrying; enjoy my worrying time, have a small chuckle at myself, and let it go...

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  97. A couple of years ago the company I worked for was being bought and there were two competing bids. We didn't know which way it was going to go and one of the companies flat out told us that we would be unemployed within the year because they were not going to keep the current employees. A HUGE stress for about a week. The company that did take control of us has no clue what they are doing management wise. I am still employed in a job I love so I'll go down with the ship if it comes to that. There is nothing I can do about it until/if it happens so why worry about it now? I'll cross that bridge when it comes.

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  98. A lovely post Keith ~ I used to worry about everything but now, I leave (some things) to the hands of the Lord ~ I find that my burdens are lighter when I do ~ Have a lovely day ~

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  99. I think you have a point that what causes the worry is the very fact that it is out of our control. Accepting that we have no control at all in the grand scheme is very difficult to accept. p.s. thanks so much for the advice about the spammers!

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  100. I'm not much of a worrier, but I think it's the lack of control that causes the worry - if you can control it, you do.

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  101. only once in a while do i do this. not much.
    somehow, far stretched, this post reminds me of a quote i came across last night:
    when we condemn or justify we cannot see clearly, nor can we when our minds are endlessly chattering.
    Krishnamurti...

    lovely week and beyond to you ~

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  102. Fears and worries mostly come from projections (in past and future), so to be happy : live and enjoy the Present moment. This is my advice.

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  103. Ah Keith,

    My human friend. One must live life with realistic positive anticipation, rather than negative speculation. Worry sabotages your right to a peaceful, positive life. Negative energy only breeds more negative energy.

    Be well, my human friend.

    Pawsitive wishes,

    Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar! :)

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  104. Great blog post and something that I'm learning more about...not "trying" to control it all!!! :)

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  105. There's quite a response to this one, Keith! Personally, my mind goes crazy in the middle of the night. I wake up, processing things that I wouldn't ordinarily worry about during the day. Some nights, that type of worry will keep me awake for an hour. Then, it's back to la-la land.

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  106. I used to be bad about this. Now I think about things before hand and if I can't control them I see no sense in getting upset. Not totally there yet but working on it.

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  107. Oh I do have a hard time with it. But I am learning.

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  108. I have found that everything I ever worried over never came to pass.

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  109. As I see it, worrying never solved anything, and serves no good purpose. So, no, I definitely don't worry... ESPECIALLY about things I can't control.

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  110. This post was such a good reminder. It's so easy to waste time and energy on worrying, when you'd be much better off doing something, anything else.

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  111. i haven't thought about it since i read your post. Shit, i realised i try to control everything in my life and that's pointless and sometimes awful. i'll start rethinking my life style immediately..

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  112. I used to worry about everything, especially when I was raising children. But now, after all that worrying, I realized it didn't change a thing and now I try to go with the flow. Sometimes you need to do a little worrying now and again to sort things through and then you can hand it over to the powers that be. It is a hard habit to break, and I am not always successful. Something to think about....

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  113. Constantly so I build a wall around me, little by little i try to chip some away so I can live again, it's not easy but sometimes the Universe gives you a mighty push, that you resent at first, and then know, that it's the only way

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  114. Oh yes, I tend to worry too much. Time wasted, I am sure. My favorite thing to worry about is my son! I wonder if it will ever stop. Have a great day!

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  115. Now I am learning to stop worrying about the things that are out of my control.

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  116. There comes a point when 'worry' (perhaps its an age thing :) becomes tiresome, boring, unproductive and more exhausting than a day of hard labour, so I try (but not always succeed) in not indulging! These days I rarely dwell on "things" that I cannot change or that are totally out of my control.
    I could never not worry about those I love though.

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  117. Yes! most of the time, I don't know why? I tend to worry about my brother and sister future! and this post remind me that, I don't have any control over it. Important thing is I'm always on their back, whenever they need me!:) great post as always, Keith:)

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  118. Can't say I do, not if I know them to be beyond my control. The difficulty sometimes is knowing whether we might have influence or not.

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  119. I do worry about stuff beyond my control, but then I tell myself that there is no point!
    It's better to worry about the stuff that you can do something about, because that's what will make a difference.

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  120. Only to a certain extent. My mother was a major worrywart, so I learned how much of a waste it made of her life...

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  121. I used to worry a lot. I have finally learned how to handle it better and I am so much happier, calmer, peaceful. Thank you for your comments on my posts. It's always nice to see you have stopped by. Hope you are having a great week.

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  122. This is spot on. If you can't change it in any way, worrying will do no good.

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  123. Worrying paralyses us and it does not help with the outcome of things. Well said! :)

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  124. I like to plan for unseen events, I guess this is in some way trying to control, but I if I have a plan B I am more at ease about things that I can't control.

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  125. The only thing, beyond my control, about which I worry, would be things of a romantic nature. The beginning of something new. I get all antsy wanting certainty when, in fact, there is no such thing.

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  126. I like this, I am going to give it a whirl!

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  127. I worry about so many things it's ridiculous and I give myself stomach ulcers. That's how stupid I am! Anyway, I read a book about worrying and it said to imagine the worst case scenario, think how you'd deal with that and as long as it wont kill you, you'll be fine. I tend to go through that process now and it does help.

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  128. All the time! My coworker and I were just talking about this because I've been worried about something really stupid. For me it's almost like since I don't have control over something, worrying almost makes me feel like I have a tiny bit of control over it because at least I have considered the worst case scenario. When I realize that I'm worrying too much and it's stressing me out, I know that I need to work on that. Usually, I try to pray more and making sure I fit something like yoga or dance in every day helps relieve my stress and worries. And dogs help. I've noticed that dogs always help me live in the moment. A few years ago there were a lot of changes at work and I was really worried about them. I was taking care of my sister's dog for an extended period and she really helped because I would come home and play fetch or just sit and talk to her.

    Great topic! And really timely for me. :)

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  129. The older I get, the easier it gets. Talk about live and learn.

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  130. Heck yeah I do...but I have come to realize worrying does not accomplish anything except keep me stressed. You are right in that you can change your mindset and I work on that all the time, having some great successes too. Plus I have learned that if the worst does indeed happen, I usually can handle it much better than the disaster scenario's that run through my mind.

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  131. frustration!
    but i do try to not let things i cant control get me down or upset. i have to set a better example for my kids!

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  132. Especially when it comes to my kids, I almost feel that if I don't worry - even if I can't control anything about the given situation - I am not loving them in the right way. I don't know if we can totally turn off that worry factor, but I've tried to keep it under control, and instead focus on things I CAN do something about.

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  133. The best advice my Dad ever gave was to only worry about the things you can do something about...which is plenty. On the other hand, people who try to control me, or anyone else, take up a lot of negative energy ...but that's another topic!

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  134. I really struggle with anxiety - from worrying about what other people think to really outlandish thing way off in the future. I have always found deep breathing really helpful, as well as exercise and of course - laughter. xxx

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  135. Thinking is over rated! My biggest flaw is that I rely on my thought processes too much which can become irrational especially if i have too much time to think as I do now with my mending fractured hip. My feelings are probably more reliable!

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  136. I always find yourself worrying about things outside of my control since I suffer from Anxiety Disorder. I hate it that I worry too much about everything :(

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  137. I sometimes worry about things out of my control but more and more I consciously work on letting worry go...

    Great post Keith ;)

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  138. The last question.. SO much .. but i realized I have control over it so I'll try making an effort to control it

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  139. They are the only things you should worry about - if its in your control stop worrying and do something! (I think I believe this!)

    Cheers - Stewart M - Melbourne

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  140. I ALWAYS find myself worrying about stupid, stupid things...I think it has a lot to do with the way I was brought up and maybe also a serious dose of innate pessimism...
    Lovely place you have here Keith :)>

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  141. I have to write some guidance I received that dried my tears, because you care so much I think you should read it as well as your readers it's not from me, I'm not an angel:
    a Prayer to help you through the day:
    God, would You be the best solution in spite of me.
    Would You Come through in spite of my fears, interferences and ignorance.
    Would you be the best outcome in spite of my not knowing what words to use or even what to ask for.
    Would you be the ease of unfoldment in spite of my resistance to another way. Would you use me as part of the solution even if I am part of the problem. Would you be the answer in spite of my being in the way. Amen

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  142. i used to until i realized that if one is always worrying about things we can't control, dwelling on the past (can't change the past) or anxious about the future (don't know the future so can't change what we don't know), then one can never be happy.

    i prefer to focus on the present and plan for the future!

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  143. I have to consciously remind myself sometimes that there are things I can do nothing about; and worrying about them is not helpful to my well being. Right now I am worrying about the situation with North Korea and their illogical and inflammatory moves in the world. I will put it out of my head as the day goes on, have to trust that someone else who CAN do something about it will! Excellent discussion.

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  144. I have gotten better with this with age. I still struggle though. Especially with a lot of my beliefs, it's really hard. I just hope to inspire people with my choices and my lifestyle. "Be the change that you wish to see in the world." That's all you can do. :)

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  145. i may be marginally better at this not worrying thing, but hardly worth measuring

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  146. Oh gosh, of course I'm a huge worrier. But I try to remember not to worry about what isn't in my control...and even the things that are. After all, worrying isn't productive, when something could actually be DONE. You know?

    Thanks for the reminder!

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  147. I find myself constantly fretting over things that are absolutely out of my control, but I think the best thing to do when you find yourself worrying about these kind of things is to focus on creating something beautiful- music/art/poetry or just making someones day by smiling or something, I know it sounds cliched but, the more positivity you send out into the universe, the more you get back :)

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  148. Oh that's such a biggie to overcome Keith. I was born a worrier! I have tried to curb this useless "habit" over the years but it still happens at times. Another thought provoking, entertaining post here, love to stop by for a read! :<)

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  149. Even if things are not always in your control, you worry. I would like not to, of course, but I don't function so mechanically.

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  150. No, I don't find myself over things I can't control. I find the Serenity Prayer helpful during mentally challenging times.

    "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference."

    As Viktor Frankl said, we may not be able to control our circumstances, but we do have control over how we choose to respond to them.

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  151. Not nearly as often as I used to. I worry about my fruends and family, about getting older... well, the usual stuff.

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  152. ...one of the hardest things ever. Especially, as Kathy said, focusing on the present instead of the past or the future...that's exactly what has been on my mind lately.

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  153. I hear what you are saying and I agree, but sometimes it is hard not to worry. My husband has an incurable disease which is slow growing, but still, I worry about it.

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  154. I really liked this post because I can relate. I worry and get anxious over the most trivial things. It is irrational to worry because worrying in itself doesn't change things. If there's something that can be done to change a situation (and if the best thing would be to change it) then that's what you do. But for things that cannot be changed, or shouldn't change, we have to learn acceptance. I was taught that if you can't accept, you can't forgive. Acceptance is the first step in forgiveness. Maybe this is why people never let go of worries; they think that if they accept something they are forgiving it. But what needs to be recognized is that just because you accept something or forgive something, this does not make the situation or whatever happened right. But it can give you peace of mind and understanding, which to me is so valuable.

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  155. Don't we all? :) Another lovely post Keith, you ar e such a amazing writer just caught up on a few of your last posts, always make me think. Me and my lil bro were just discussing your writing style. He reads you too!

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  156. I used to, but that was many years ago. I'm a lot happier too now.

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  157. I am such a worry wart too! I sometimes feel like worrying will some how help the situation! Thank you for another thought provoking post!

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  158. Born To Worry ~~~ my song title ~~~ so what do I do ~~~ clean up, straighten up, do the dishes, rake the lawn, + more ~~~ there I'm exhausted ~~~ now what was I worrying about? Can't remember!

    Ron

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  159. Re: Your comment in my blog... Who is the man, pictured on top of the piano?

    Our family corner drug store began at the time of the Civil War. That is a painting of the man who began it, Fred Mengay. It has been part of the store, for all those years.

    When our son did some (needed, not drastic) remodeling, the portrait ended up, in his office.

    I have always like it. So last Christmas, I said all I wanted was the portrait of "Old Fred." 'Twas given to me. Husband is doing his magic, to the old frame. Meanwhile, "Old Fred" has been propped up on the piano, for safe keeping.

    Yes, it is taking a long time.... But it's ok. The painting will be installed in its frame and hung over the piano, soon. :-)

    You are so very observant!!!

    And some time ago, you asked how much snow we had gotten this winter. I have not forgotten! When I find out the total, I will tell you. :-)

    "Auntie"

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  160. I'm better than I used to be but this week one of our daughter's received her first financial aid letter from a college. It is UNDERWHELMING. I find myself mind spinning about it from time to time. What if the other letters are just as UNDERWHELMING? What then? Where will she go? But I've been trying to remember this wise advice: "Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?" No, we cannot. That usually pulls me back from the ledge.

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  161. Absolutely. Lately it's worrying over finding a job I don't hate, worrying over wanting my mother to be happy, worrying over how in the heck I'm going to afford the health insurance that I'm being forced to purchase against my will (with money I simply don't have), and that the health of my elderly cat (of 17 years) is going so downhill.

    Yeah, people think I'm all positive but the reality is I worry a lot.

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  162. I think you should be so proud of yourself for working on this. It is challenging, and takes much practice...but oh so liberating.
    I am a chronic worrier, and like you say, with practice and discipline...we shall (try) to overcome! :)) (we hope) :)
    One of my favorite books is "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle...really helped me with this...

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  163. This is the best way to look at life! We all need to remember this, on the days that feel like we have "no" control.

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  164. This is a hard one - perhaps it's a case of if you don't worry then you don't care enough. Maybe it comes from our ancient ancestors who had to worry to survive. My own mantra is 'what will be will be'

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  165. Though, what do we really have control of? We think have control over our thoughts, feelings and actions, or is that simply an illusion? I totally agree with you about the vulnerability. People dislike being vulnerable. Though I believe that feeling is simply created in our own minds.

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  166. I am a bit of a worrier. I've gotten better over the years, but I could still work on it.

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  167. I was listening to Dr. Dyer the other day - awesome stuff! To answer your question- yes. I think that's what happens when you're a control freak and also when you love many people... You end up worrying about -everything-. Do you mind me asking how you are managing to alter your thinking in regards to this? Because I could definitely do with less stress. :)

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