Saturday, June 29, 2013

The Resiliency of a Broken Heart...


"Someday, someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else" ~unknown

Two close friends of mine have experienced heartbreak recently. It's one of the toughest things that any of us could ever go through. Heartbreak leaves us with such a wide variety of emotions...and those emotions fluctuate so rapidly! One day you think you're fine and that you have finally moved on. The next day, something as simple as a song on the radio or a random memory will trigger a flood of tears.

As with any loss, working through heartbreak is a process...and there are no shortcuts in the process - as much as we wish there were. A common mistake people make is trying to fill the void with another person. I've made this mistake myself and learned a valuable lesson. How can we work on another relationship when we are still in the midst of working on ourselves and building ourselves back up? In the midst of heartbreak, it's good to take the time to work on healing your emotional wounds. Take up new hobbies, hang out with friends and family, change up your routine. It will take time, but you'll eventually begin to feel better than you ever thought you would!

You will love again of course...when you're healed and when you're ready. Once you're fully healed, your heart will be able to open up again and receive the love that you've only imagined! All heartbreaks are mere speed bumps on the road to your soul mate :-)

What have you learned from your experiences with heartbreak?

139 comments:

  1. What I have learned is that we just have to put one foot in front of the other and live life one day at a time. Hard to do when one's heart is breaking, but it is the only way. By the way, I like the picture of you with your little dog. I am a fan of little dogs myself. (And I also think that dogs are helpful when one is going through anything..heartbreak, etc. THEY have unconditional love!)

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  2. Like grief, there are different stages, and one must pass through them first. I feel fortunate I've never had my heart completely crushed, as I've only loved one woman. (And she's still with me.)
    Just be there for your friends.

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  3. One of my friends has a sweet saying about old heartbreaks, 'sometimes it still aches when it rains.'

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    1. This happens because firstly we all like sunshine, and secondly rain makes sure that we stay indoors instead of doing something outside, like going for errands etc. So, this alone time gets used for retrospection, and it still aches when it rains.

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  4. its not an easy question because heart break is certainly not easy...you cant let it rob you of the life you have...and you will miss them and they will stick with you, little pieces...its hard...i was thinking as i read this, about one of my friends who tried for the longest time to have a child and kept losing them....ultimately you need reminding that you are not alone...

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  5. As someone who has had her heart broken... there is no easy road. It's true that days will go by and you think you have made it through... then something small will trigger it...

    I know it's a process...

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  6. Heartbreak is one of the most painful things you can ever feel. Of course it is typically a part of life and a necessary one so you can weed through all the bad ones to get to your soul mate. I love your last sentence - "All heartbreaks are mere speed bumps on the road to your soul mate." That's so true!

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  7. It is sad to confess, but don't give your heart again as it might be broken again.

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  8. Heartbreak is different for everyone. And so is the healing process. Keeping busy and surrounding yourself with friends and family certainly helps. As time goes on, it gets easier.

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  9. Heartbreaks make us deal with reality and that is always tough. Takes two to Tango and two to break up. An opportunity to examine one's own weakness and that is always scary.
    Hopefully when you meet a new person you won't be that old person.

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  10. So true. I've learnt that heartbreak can make you stronger.

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  11. It's a dreaded stage, but as you said, life goes on and we will survive.

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  12. Like many, I could write a book on heartbreak. This is a wonderful and thought provoking post, Keith. Cheers.

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  13. In those days, it always felt like the world was ending. I never thought I would get through, but somehow I did. I guess that's what I learned: there was a happy ending waiting for me; I just needed to be patient.

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  14. We all deal with it in different ways ~ I have not experienced heartbreak yet but I can empathize with the loss and missing the person terribly ~ Just Mary said, we can live each day at a time ~ Happy weekend ~

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  15. For me the biggest one came with the divorce from Adam's Dad ... it was really hard and I became hard and bitter... but luckily for me, Brian came along when Adam was 8 and he broke down the walls :)

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  16. My greatest heartbreak was when my husband died one day before our 51st wedding anniversary. The years spent with Jim were the happiest years of my life.

    Great post Keith!

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  17. I've learned that time heals all wounds and the more wounds you get the thicker your skin becomes (which isn't necessarily a good thing).

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  18. I tell people this all the time, OE. You have to be healthy yourself before you can find a healthy relationship. What great words you wrote here!!

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  19. This may be odd to say, but I've experienced a lot of heartbreak with friends I was not romantically involved in... just people who I wanted to be my friend, and it didn't work out.

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  20. My heart does not have bones, and, therefore, cannot be broken.

    One thing I learned a long time ago is be happy by yourself before even trying to be happy with someone else. No one person can fill the void of loneliness we sometimes feel and it is cruelty to try.

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  21. Heartbreak is like grief, so I agree with you.
    I also agree with Lia. I've also experienced heartbreak with friends when they are not sincere. Sometimes it is safer to just shut down and avoid pain. As Robbie says, we can feel happy without anybody's input, and I'd rather be by myself than risk any kind of heartbreak.
    Have a lovely weekend.

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  22. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again! Those are words that are good to remember.

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  23. My husband and I have been together for 56 yrs, so I have never experienced heartbreak, but I have experienced grief and loss, which with the passage of time eases and becomes bearable.

    Just in case you don't go to my blog to see my answer Kieth, my photos of the Jay were taken with my Nikon Coolpix 500 with a Nikon 36xoptical Nikkor lens:)

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  24. I too have learned that there is a grieving process and all of us approach that grief in our own way. I can vividly remember hurting so badly that I thought I would never heal. I did.

    Have a fabulous day. :)

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  25. "All heartbreaks are mere speed bumps on the road to your soul mate"
    I love this line!

    A couple people I know in real life could greatly benefit from reading this post and really listening to what it says. Great job.

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  26. I think the most recent and poignant lesson I've learned from heartbreak is that the pain does not negate the beauty, the love, and the lessons learned from the previous relationship. Every love enriches you, strengthens you, and shapes you. Take that with you. Embrace it. Cherish it as a special gift that you will be able to share with someone else, when the time is right. Just because it hurts now doesn't mean that it was bad, wrong, or stupid then.

    I find this especially important to remember, because pain and loss are inevitable... whether through a mutual (or not so mutual!) parting of ways, or through death or an unfortunate accident that perhaps changes the personality of the one you love... The world we live in just has loss as an integral, woven part of the experience. So we must cherish the sweetness while it's there... and after it's gone. It's the only way to stay sane.

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  27. Through personal experience, I have found that heartbreak was much more acute when I was younger. Having grown older (and perhaps somewhat tougher) I don't seem to want to depend on others for emotional security.

    Your very right in saying that it's a mistake to try to quickly fill the void of heartbreak with another person. It almost never works out. Another person will eventually come along - but good things take time.

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    1. I meant to say "you're", not "your".
      Sorry about that!

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    2. The thing about quickly filling the void is called a 'rebound' here in India.

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  28. Heartbreak happens because people don't REALLY love. They try to make someone responsible for their happiness.

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  29. Yeah never bothered with it thankfully, as have to find that person first at my sea.

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  30. Making the adjustment after heartbreak is so hard. What I've learned: keep moving forward, do what you need to do to take care of yourself--get hugs from friends and cry on a caring shoulder, take a vacation (small or big), do what you love (a hobby or spending time with a person or pet that makes you smile), do something for someone less fortunate (there is always someone!), get counseling if you need that too. There can be brighter and even better days ahead. :-)

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  31. That I never learn and keep making the same mistake?

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  32. I haven't had heartbreak in decades but remember taking it one day at a time, sobbing when I needed to in private because no one else wants to hear it. Nor do they know how to help when they want to...heartbreak is a lonely process in spite of the fact that everyone experiences it.

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  33. Had many in my 20's and could not go back there again, totally brings out the worst in me...

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  34. I think closure is one of those things we all seek but the misery of working through the process can often make it seem a distant goal. I've seen many take the route of repeating destructive relationships over and over...while it's possible to escape this gravitational pull it does take effort for sure...and effort well worth the reword I'd say.

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  35. I am a one man woman and he is my husband we are happily married for past 20 years so thank god there is no heart break :)

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  36. Heartbreak is the worst. It has actually taken me years to get over my husband leaving. Unfortunately the sore spot is still there, and I don't believe there will be anyone else in my life. Safer that way.

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  37. That I needed to forgive for my own happiness.

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  38. I have learned that no matter what, you really will probably love again. But you need to take time for yourself first and love yourself first.

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  39. That through my heartbreak, that questions may never be answered. Accept that closure is something I have to find for myself without the answers.

    Be well, Keith.

    Gary

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  40. As trite as it might sound, heartbreak certainly does strengthen you. To experience heartbreak in the first place means you took chances in life. You were alive. My experiences with heartbreak (and there have been several tough ones along the way), made me a deeper, emotionally richer person. I'm grateful for that.

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  41. no one can make me happy ... I was looking for happiness in another person. today I am complete. I am enjoying my company alone and with someone :) olone or with someone I feel the same level of happiness :) PS of course if I have my daily flow and my mind is silent :) :) :)

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  42. Heart break is one of those things that builds up walls for the next relationship that comes along to protect ones self. That is sad....I think once heartbreak happens there is just something about the purity of the heart that is no longer.

    I don't believe in heart breaks (smile)

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  43. That without conflict there is no growth, and the strength one gains after coming through things makes one realize that there is a reason for everything, and a much richer experience will likely be on the horizon.

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  44. I have learned that you can't really love anyone until you love and fix yourself up first. sandie

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  45. PS I am following you on bloglovin - follow me!

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  46. I recently webt through a break up and have had many quick loves in the past year that have all left me feeling more disappointed that I'm not finding the right relationship. I have made and do make the mistake of leaping into dead-end relationships because it provides a temporary rebound from the initial sadness. After getting home from my trip to Ireland, I immediately and since have thought of all my past loves and lovers and have been analyzing and feeling my way through all of those heartaches, even missing some of them. In an immature place in my mind, I had half hoped that a trip across the pond would make it easier to escape, and that upon return, I'd be freed from the sadness and the loneliness of a broken heart, only to find that... I cannot escape it. We have to feel our way through all of the sadness, acknowledge it, and make peace with it. I have started reading Eat Pray Love, and read Kathy's book Lessons from the Monk I Married, and both are helping me to process things and let go. As said in EPL, "send him light and love every time you think of him, and let it go". Such a hard and rewarding process. Thanks for a good reminder of a blog, Keith.

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  47. Over the vast time I have been alive I have been through lots of heartbreak - time does heal eventually but it is a long slow process and shouldn't be rushed.

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  48. My broken hearts have all been of my own doing. And luckily I had some wonderful people to help fix me up again. I'm far too lucky for my own good sometimes.

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  49. Heart break is a part of life! You learn, you become wise, I think its needed at least once in this lifetime so that you learn to appreciate the things you have when its still there :)

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  50. I've learned just like I have with many things, this to will pass.

    I was only really heartbroken once. After that I just dated, and didn't get into another real relationship. I was young, still trying to figure out what I wanted in someone.

    Even though heartbreak is hard, I think it's important to experience once. It makes you stronger in the long run, fill you with experience and allows you to relate to many others who have had their hearts broken as well.

    It is important to not dismiss that part of your life. It was something, time spent, and it impacted who you are.

    That brings up another question, Can you be friends with an ex?

    I'm friends with many people I dated, but not the serious one. It was just too hard, too many feelings, and too much hurt. Often times I wonder what became of him. I wonder if he wonders what became of me. It's not because I wish I was still with him. It's because he was a chapter in my book at one time.

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  51. Not much, it is just all around bad...

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  52. I ended up in hospital after my marriage fell apart. I asked the nurse with the EKG if they were there to fix my broken heart. It was a surreal experience.

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  53. Hi Keith, heart breaks are the worse, but on the light side they can show us how resilient we are and hopefully are choices in future mates get better.

    Madison:)

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  54. Only a few months after I had my heart totally squashed by one boy, I met another, better one. I mean "better" in almost every way. And then the better boy and I got married, and we're still married. Rebounds are generally advised against ... but hearts can recover more quickly than you might think.

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  55. I have not learnt much from my experiences with heartbreak.
    I am extremely afraid of trusting people, so it is hard for me to open up. And I am not sure if I will heal someday.

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  56. Oh Keith that saying about 'someone will walk into your life and make you realise why it's never worked out with anyone else'? wow, so so true. That's exactly what happened to me.
    Much of the stages of healing after heartache are quite similar to that of grief (losing one's other half by death).

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  57. Sometimes your posts and tweets are very timely! I'm currently drafting a novel that I'll be starting in July and it deals with this topic. :)

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  58. I look back now and think of the breakups. There was only one though was truly a heartbreak. I cried and sobbed and wondered what was wrong, he was the love of my life. That started me on the road to being a commitment-phobe. But I wouldn't change any of it because I wouldn't be were I am now and that is happily married to someone I love deeply and have a lot of fun with. And I'm mama to a beautiful baby girl, who isn't a baby anymore.

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  59. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  60. There's a reason why they didn't make it to your future, break-ups are long process.. and its tough!..

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  61. Sometimes your heart hurts and you don't even realize its heartbreak until much, much later. That's when you start to work on healing.
    Sorry I don't comment often, but I love reading your posts!

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  62. Yes, we will love again, if we are open to love, that's the key. There is no one Mr. or Ms. Right, for anyone, I really believe that. Love the photo Keith and your heartfelt words. Touching...
    Happy Weekend to you and Happy July 4th too, G

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  63. I can only reiterate what a lot of people here have said, it just takes time to heal. It's not an easy road. And I agree that it's better to avoid any new relationships until the dead one is dead.

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  64. No heartbreak here...heartburn occasionally but no heartbreak.

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  65. I learned never to marry the rebound guy. My judgement was totally skewed.

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  66. Wisely written, Keith....

    Thank you so much for visiting...Grand Marais was indeed spectacular.
    Wishing you a splendid Sunday!!

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  67. I've learned you gotta keep on living your life, and try not to break another person's heart (by jumping in right after a heartbreak). I've broken a heart by not having my heart available, and the same has been done to me. I've learned that you should only date with an open heart.

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  68. Needed this today. You're exactly right -- one little thing can set you back a few steps. There is always something better on the horizon, though.

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  69. I think you learn more from how you deal with heartbreak than from heartbreak itself - well maybe!

    Stewart M - Melbourne

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  70. I've learned that as I get older it's harder, not easier, to heal.

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  71. No matter what plans you may have it never ends up that way. Also life is too short, enjoy the time you have with others.

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  72. What a wise post, Keith! I agree--we need time to heal and work on ourselves before jumping into another relationship. I made the mistake too many times of trying to fill that void with another person. It was only when I took time by myself that I truly healed.

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  73. I have had one or two crushes, and being rejected both times has made sure that I worked extra hard with studies and work. And it paid. I understand being away after being together has wholly different meaning.

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  74. Hi Keith .. interesting to read your post and then the comments - we all adapt in our own way ... the thing I'm so glad I don't do .. is get sucked into my own misery or fear ... and being able to say no sometimes is essential ... while being there for others is absolutely essential and remembering that's what you're doing ...

    Thankfully I'm resilient and self- reliant .. cheers Hilary

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  75. Lovely said! I have been hurt many a time in relationship but I ever broke down and I also leant not to take anything serious... but I care truly for dear once.

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  76. Well for me the lesson is that a soul mate is not for life, only part of the journey. There can be more than one soul mate along the path.

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  77. a really nice post:-) and i love that quote! x

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  78. I think those are wise words from Cassandra.
    I'm not so sure I agree with the saying that "all heartbreaks are speed bumps on the road to your soulmate"...it seems so trite.

    This year my husband and I will celebrate 35 years of marriage.
    But at the same time, my sister in law's marriage of 35 years is splitting up. She's devastated.

    I dont believe in a 'soul mate'. All souls are complex, and need constant gardening to thrive.
    The constant gardening in a relationship is communication. When communication shuts down, it's over.

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  79. Here I go again, using this same quote, that seems so appropriate, so often....
    "Don't push the river...it flows by itself."

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  80. My most important lessons to myself is one of forgiveness and acceptance - to forgive and accept myself. Take care
    x

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  81. I have FINALLY (only after many mistakes) learned to forgive, both the other person and myself;
    and to understand that we are both to blame when things fail between us.
    Blame is no longer in my vocabulary!

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  82. whoa heartbreak is an oucher! but the biggest heartbreak I have ever had is living with my kids getting their heart broken. now THAT hurts! I have only had two really bad heartbreaks and can look back with both with so much fondness and pride that I would be able to love someone so much. it sounds very strange, but I love that fact that my heart could get broken...it's such a real human poignant lovely thing

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  83. How inspiring Keith. Thank you :)

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  84. ... never give your heart away, after it has been broken ... who wants warmed up leftovers anyway ...

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  85. Oh yes, I have learned to mend myself. That is what I have been doing for the past two years or more...

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  86. I have definitely learned some valuable life lessons from my heartbreaks, but the quote at the beginning is very true. I found that person and it really makes sense why it did not work out wit anybody else.

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  87. Lots of wisdom in your post today Keith. When I have a broken heart I notice how bruised and battered I feel physically too.
    I connect to the thread of it will get better and it takes time. Love and light to all of us on our journeys.

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  88. ah yes- wise words indeed Keith! In the past I had to learn all of those hard lessons....until I accepted myself as who I am how could I find my sweetie! We've been together now 23+ years- I think we're pretty well glued together!
    Have a great week!

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  89. I think we all have to be strong and secure as individuals before becoming couples....that way you can survive anything if a relationship folds.xxxx

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  90. I learned not to be so fast to trust people. it's ok to trust up to a point but they have to earn it.

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  91. This hasn't happened to me in romance. But, I've experienced the betrayal of trusted friends, over whom I have grieved. Forgiveness doesn't mean that I'll trust them again. It means that I wish them the best that life can offer them. At the same time, I release myself, and that person, from depending on each other.
    John

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    1. "Forgiveness is not forgetting, it's letting go of the hurt." Courage to Change, p. 178

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  92. I have found my human heart to be resilient! But you have to heal and become whole yourself before you can try again. And you have to be able to open yourself up to trust again. Because you know your heart can be stomped ~ so that's tough! I still carry a piece of everyone I have loved in my heart ~ even the worst betrayals. Even when you are happily married for almost 29 years, sometimes a song will play and you're blindsided with unexpected memories of an old heartache. It's quite amazing! If you remain open to love eventually you get it right! Your initial quote says it all! I ended up exactly where I was meant to be!

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  93. Its the same story spread over everyone. It happens similarly.
    You're right, trying to fill the void with someone else, that's the biggest mistake one can make.
    The best way to help it, is to embrace and accept the fact that it's done and can't be undone and that moving on is the best available option.

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  94. Oh, my dear friend. Wait til you see the new blog and all the things I've learned from it! Not giving up the dream!

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  95. Thanks for stopping by my blog and commenting. I really appreciate it.
    Great story about heart break. It's terrible at the time it happens, but you do heal and move on.

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  96. I love that quotation. I just found that somebody, and it's true that I finally understand why it didn't work out before. Beautiful post, thank you.

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  97. I remember somebody telling me once that if you're asked to some up your life at this moment it may be written over a good few pages... If you are asked in six months time to sum up exactly the same period it will be described in no more than a paragraph. Whatever happens I know that in six months time things will be different :)

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  98. Time.

    I just needed time to go through whatever stages *I* had to go through.

    No one could get me there - but me...

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  99. Well said. And when allowed, that broken heart will mend back even stronger, albeit a little differently, than before.

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  100. Time...and determination...will heal all wounds. Not make them go away, but the hurt will be lessened...

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  101. Move on, quickly. And when THAT song comes on the radio, cry with all your might. And then, move on, quickly... :-)

    Greetings from London.

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  102. My son is close to experiencing his own bit of heartbreak. Not yet, but the signs are growing...
    Anyway, I told him that, when I get a chance, I'll tell him the story of the girl who broke my heart many, many years ago. I didn't get into the details, but I did tell him that the story had a happy ending.
    Which included his mother.
    And him and his sister.

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  103. Honestly, no two people are alike, and I think heartbreak forever becomes a part of you--just like the people who are no longer in your life. I think if we can accept there will just be sad times, and we have to allow ourselves to run our "grieving" course, we'll be healthy to move on and try again. I also think writing out ones feelings regularly while dealing with loss is an imperative aspect of being able to purge.

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  104. Oh, so true! I'm afraid I have made the foolish mistake (in my youth) of thinking love for one can be replaced by love for another - it can't No one can replace another. And I'm afraid I also learned the hard way that healing takes time... sometimes, a long time; but it does come! Meanwhile, there is no greater pain. Faith and prayer can get a person through when nothing else can...

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  105. I'm sorry to hear you have two friends who've dealt with it recently. My then-teen son had a big blow to his heart a couple of years ago that took him down hard. It's hard to witness for anyone, but it broke my heart to see him hurting, especially since he's a 'tough guy' with his emotions by nature. Heartbreak can be a real toughie.

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  106. I have learnt that (in my case) expectations and preconceived ideas about love (or about how people who loves should behave) have ruined the whole fun.

    I have learnt also that love is not about perfection, but about generosity, sincerity and acceptance, not about suffering but about joy and passion.

    I have learnt that love is not dependence, nor codependence it is freedom. I have learnt that true love demands reciprocity.

    And last but not least, I have learnt that the best way to deal with a broken heart is loving oneself a bit more

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  107. I haven't experienced a heartbreak from love. Only from liking someone a lot (not quite the same thing). There's only been one real love in my life, and I'm married to him.

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  108. ha ha...a very good question...
    I learned to use my brain more...why is it so hard sometimes?
    Happy July 1st to you...I wish your friend to see with eyes that are a year older...

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  109. You've already covered it, Keith. The rebound effect. Unless it has fins, paws or claws it's a no no!

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  110. I would say it is a learning experience! Every relationship helps you grow! Have a happy week!

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  111. You nailed it Keith. There's no way you can invest in a new relationship until the old one is behind you.

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  112. I have to say, I am one of the very, very lucky ones. My husband was my first real boyfriend, so I've never had that tear soaked pillow, oh my God my life is over stage people go through when their relationship comes to an end. I have had friends do the rebound thing and it is never a good idea. You need to take time to rediscover who you are outside of that relationship before you can enter a new one with successful results.

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  113. Years ago when I was a newly divorced single mom, I was terrified of being alone. I made the mistake a few times of thinking that ANYONE was better than being alone. My brother finally gave me the best advice and I've never forgotten it: to do everything in my power to make myself the best I could be, and the rest would fall into place. And yes, once I began working on myself, I gained confidence, lost my fear, and ultimately met my husband - and he was the missing puzzle piece in my life. I think if we each had not gone through the refiner's fire, we wouldn't have liked each other (as in, if we'd met each other at a younger age). It took heartache, hard work, and getting our priorities straight to appreciate and value each others' best qualities, and to realize it takes lots of love, work, and resilience to make a marriage work.

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  114. I married my heart break...:) It was a very tearful experience with a happy ending.

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  115. I learned to appreciate good people. I don't think I would have half the appreciate for how kind, loving, and honest my husband is if I hadn't had a little bit of heartbreak for comparison.

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  116. I married my hubby when I was a mere zygote, and we're still married, so it's been a lot of years since I experienced any heartache. But all of my kids did when they were younger, and it was tough. It takes time and positive thinking to get over real heartbreaks. And since they're often caused by betrayal... being able to forgive the other person is a must, too. Harboring resentment and negative feelings for the person who breaks your heart is like taking poison, and expecting the other person to get sick.

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  117. I'm like Susan, above. I've been with the same guy for so long, I have no heartbreak to speak of. Not that being together so long doesn't have its own set of challenges. ;)

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  118. Good advice, Keith, for those going through heartbreak! Even though I have also been married for longer than I can remember, I do know the heartbreak of losing friendships, losing loved ones, and even pets. Each time changes you a little more and you learn to cherish the love you do have in your life and the friends and family that stand by you. Going through heartbreak sometimes brings you closer to these loved ones and takes away a little of the pain and surrounds you with comfort. It also gives us more empathy for those suffering heartbreak. It's never a pleasant experience, but it does enable you to grow in that way. xo

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  119. As I always tell myself (and everyone else) whenever something goes wrong - Good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
    Great post, as usual!

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  120. I've learned to cherish the present before it turns into the past.

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  121. I've learned that none of the heartbreak matters once you have found the person you are meant to be with! That quote is so true :)

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  122. I love that quote underneath the picture. I know that feeling of 'why didn't this work out?'. Happy to say that I found the person who changed it all.

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  123. I learned that I block my own well-being when I base my self-worth on what I do or what others think of me. When I need the love or applause of others to feel good about myself, I am giving them power over me.

    I've also learned that no one can make me happy, sad, angry or have any other feeling without my giving them approval to do so.

    Regarding relationships, I've learned that two halves do NOT make a whole. Instead, in such cases, it's more like multiplying fractions, the number gets smaller. However, two "wholes" make a couple.

    As Kavanaugh said, regarding relationships, "I don't search out of emptiness and need but out of increasing fullness and desire. Emptiness seeks any face to fill the void. It is full of shadows that are easy to replace. Fullness brings a friend that is unique and irreplaceable."

    I love the relationships I have and my life has never been better.

    One thing I've learned, as a result of my relationships with women: boundaries are critical to have, as is freedom from codependency. I don't apply boundaries for others to adhere to. I use boundaries so that I abide by them, when relating with others.

    Lastly, I need to believe the first time when a person tells me who they are. It's important to now over the tell-tale signs of a problem. I'm not interested in : Defensive Hope

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  125. excellent thought provoking post and reading threw many of the comments-good comments too
    I have been married now for 32 years so I had to really think far far back when I went threw a heartbreak-I remember I gave myself time to heal first, think about what I wanted for my life before jumping into another relationship-that took me a few years

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  126. TESTIMONY


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