Sunday, June 29, 2014

Confessions of an Optimistic Existentialist

I think that people sometimes get the wrong impression about me. I am not always the nice, kind, sweet guy you all think I am. I have made so many mistakes in my life. I wish to atone for them. This has been weighing heavily on me, and I wish to clear my conscience today. They say "the truth shall set you free", so here are my confessions...

When VCRs were still at thing, I didn't always be kind and rewind 

I sometimes drink coffee after 5 PM

I do not always squeeze the toothpaste tube from the bottom

I completely zone out during work meetings, occasionally nodding my head and interjecting the random "I agree"  so that I can keep up the appearance of listening

When the Miley Cyrus song "Party in the USA" comes on in the car, I turn the radio up

When it comes to chips and dip, I have been known to double-dip

I have changed the font size on periods at the end of sentences in order to stretch a college research paper from 19 pages to 20 pages (it really does work)

When I type LOL, I'm not always literally laughing out loud

I judge people I don't even know soley based on their bumper stickers

When driving, I sometimes go 60mph in a 55mph zone. And if I am feeling particularly bold, I'll even push it up to 63 or 64 

When I was in junior high, I kissed and told once 

I have feigned excitement over Christmas gifts that I didn't really like

(related) I have re-gifted. On several occasions.

When I was little, I would sometimes put the mouth end of the thermometer on a light bulb to make my temperature seem higher than it was in order to get out of going to school

After 4pm on a Friday, I mentally check out for the last hour of work

I didn't let the dogs out, but I know who did

I do not to drink the recommended eight glasses of water per day

I was suspended from high school. Twice.

One time I had pizza for breakfast, lunch, and dinner all in the same day 

In 6th grade, I dropped a pencil on purpose once in order to look up a classmate's skirt. I got caught.

I sometimes laugh at jokes that are not funny

If I really like an ink pen, I will sometimes "borrow" it and "forget" to return it

I feel so much better after having gotten these things off of my chest, as this was quite cathartic. I feel as if a huge weight has been lifted. The truth has most definitely set me free.  

Do you have any confessions? C'mon, you'll feel better if you get it off of your chest. 

170 comments:

  1. I don't have any clever confessions at this time, but I must say I got a kick out of this post! I'm not always laughing out loud when I type LOL either :)

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  2. Oh my gosh Keith you are a rebel indeed. Still a romantic rebel so I guess it is alright we will forgive you, even though we may not want to:) Confessions I don't think so:) LOL Hug B

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  3. Sometimes I read a great blog entry... and click away without leaving a comment to let the author know how much I appreciated it. I will try to do better!
    Great post : )

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  4. Love, love, love these confessions....I think most of them I could have written. Except for dropping something to look up a girl's dress. LOL...oops, I'm not literally laughing out loud, physically, but mentally. Oh, and speed limits...I think they're just guide lines. I've been known to do 90 in a 75 MPH stretch of lonely highway. In my younger years for sure. Not now tho.

    Great post.

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  5. Hahaha.. an adorable list of confessions, I must say.

    Among many other things mentioned, "borrow" and "forget" to return.. hahhaha.. I have done it so many times in school. And I'm not even ashamed of it. xD

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  6. I mentally check out before noon on a Friday, so you're doing better than me.
    And in a 55 mph zone, I'll do 70 mph. And I've been known to push it to 90 mph.
    Those were really funny, Keith! We forgive you.

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    1. Ought oh...Naughty Ninja-I do the same thing! I love the back roads of NC~

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  7. I sometimes eat chocolate for breakfast.

    I hope most people aren't laughing out loud when they type LOL, or else I know some very hysterical people!!

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  8. Number one rule: Never admit to anything.

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  9. Confessions.....I zone out when my hubs talks about sports, just nodding my head and smiling and saying umhumm once in a while. Sometimes I don't answer my phone, just let it ring and go to the answering machine. I buy chips and hide them. That's enough confessions for me. If I got into the heavy stuff someone might call the cops...or a shrink.

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  10. LOL LOL LOL (And yes, I REALLY am!!!!) ... if I gave you my REAL confessions on here (in public) ... *phew* I would start to get hate emails! I truly have a HORRIBLE past ;)

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  11. Confessions. . . . yours . . . made for a fun post . . .
    Mine . . . not so much . . .
    I sneak a grape . . . checking for freshness . . .
    I turn away and go the other direction if I run into "miss chatty" . . .
    I play sick if there is more than one family reunion in a month . . .
    I fake sick from work if it is a really good book . . .

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  12. and your Kindness, good-hearted, exceptionnally kind human beings make these ah minor hum..confessions, quite irrelevant

    my confession: i can't lie, I resist everyday from destroying the man who destroyed me and took away everything that allowed me to breathe and i try sometimes to forgive and i don't know how to

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  13. Great confessions! For me...I have to take a mental health days. I yell at people (even though they can't hear me) when they change lanes without using their blinkers. I have eaten a pint of Ben & Jerry's in one sitting on more than one occasion. In conversations with people that talk at me, I mentally check out - working on a project/problem or whatever in my head, then bounce back to the conversation when it is most convenient for me. :)

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  14. you're too cute. the period font size made me LOL - ha!

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  15. If those are the worse things you've done, you've been a pretty good person overall.

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  16. LOL!! I confess to skipping school a couple of times in high school with friends. And believe me those were the days that skipping school was a big no no.

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  17. Ah so you're only human after all.

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  18. I get annoyed at folks I perceive to be dense and so many more confessions, it's good to look at oneself occasionally to hopefully improve.

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  19. ha. coffee is an every time drink, for sure...oy, i will work on forgiving you for miley cirus air pollution as well...lol....fun list...we all have our flaws you know...lol....

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  20. I was not going to forgive you for these confessions until I read myself in most of them. HA! And IF you take my pen, I morph into a monster and chase you down. No one believes this because "they" think I'm nice too. And the pen stealer can't tell because...well...you know they can't be found!

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  21. When someone phones and talks forever, I play games online and look up stuff when asked something I can't answer.

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  22. I don't think I would of had the courage to try the pencil trick while I was in school.

    But I was in high school in the early 2000s, as it became popular for women to wear low rise jeans with thong underwear. Most guys are pathetic losers at that age, and my stupid self had no problem checking out the whale tails.

    It wasn't until I was much older and realized that most women were doing that on purpose to some point. Just like wearing those thin leggings as pants. Ladies you can wear whatever you want, but when men stare don't complain.

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  23. Ha, fun. I am sure we could all write such a list....but few are brave enough to do so. One thing.....I have rung my own doorbell a time or two if there was a chatty person on the phone. Oops, someone at the door works miracles.

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  24. I am not always sunshine & smiling & kind too all the time ~ We all have our days when we are less that what we desire to be ~ But we should forgive ourselves as we are not machines, wired to do everything right, every time ~ And hey, by Friday after lunch, I am mentally wired for the weekend, specially if its a long weekend ~

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  25. So you're a pen stealing, double dipping, re-gifting, skirt looker upper, fake laughing, speeder that doesn't let the dogs out, cheats with big periods, day dreams at meetings and doesn't rewind.....you're going to hell. lmao

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  26. I'm scandalized!

    I've stolen things from the library.
    I lie a lot more than people think I do.
    I write in books, sometimes, and not just blank books.
    I read between the lines.

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  27. I like posts like this Keith... it does feel good to let things out.

    I used to steal until I was 14... I never would now... that's scary and stupid...

    We all have a list of things we need to let go of... this is a great way to do it ;-)

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  28. IDK, There are a few there that may be hard to overlook - listening to Miley Cyrus (really?) and the old pencil trick (what do you expect to happen, the early signs of a cad), and from a coffee lovers' viewpoint, there's nothing wrong with drinking coffee after 5 pm. . .

    Glad you cleared your conscience, I prefer to tell my journal. I've never liked confessing until backed into a corner. . .

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  29. you can found me guilty of most the things you wrote. coffee after 5 pm? what about glasses of coffee after 12 am?

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  30. Hahahaha... And here I was thinking you're a perfect human being. Well, at least you have a conscience.

    I blast disco music when I'm alone at home. And dance around like a fool. The only witnesses are my cats. And they're not talking...

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  31. Keitgh, my opinion of you hasn't changed, you are absolved of your little sins and it's as if it never happened. Now go in peace....and feel lighter for the summer. lol....
    JB

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  32. Sorry "KEITH", I saw my typo as I pushed Publish.
    JB

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  33. There is no excuse for the toothpaste thing. The pencil trick...everyone did that. I knew a guy who would balance a mirror on his shoe...he will be out in a few years.

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  34. Toothpaste not from the bottom? Oh my good gosh, you animal.

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    1. and what is it you! have to say today? LOL!

      :0p

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  35. so funny Keith-I am really LOL too, never new about the font size on periods-pretty clever on that one-now its out though (laughing)

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  36. Wish I'd known about the period font. Sure would have come in handy. My confession is that I've been known to bite off perfectly good fingernails while reading a particularly suspenseful mystery.

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  37. You are such a rebel. Such a sociopath. You have frightened me.

    Why are you snickering?

    Once I went through a six items or less checkout line with a dozen eggs...jump back! ;p

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  38. Sorry Keith. You're still the nice, kind, sweet guy we thought you were, even after your shocking confessions... ;D

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  39. Love this post!

    I type emails and blog comments when I'm on the phone with my really good friend. I love her, but she talks...a lot. :)

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  40. Keith, I always suspected you had a dark side and I'm glad that you finally decided to confess and reveal all (or at least almost all). It's actually a relief to know you're not perfect - - you had me worried there, for awhile (and I'm admittedly envious of perfect people).

    I wouldn't dare confess my sins on a public blog. I'd be instantly banned by Blogger - - and the FBI would probably be called.......

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  41. You really are a bad guy, Keith! I did not expect this from you! Come on, drink more water! :) Confession: I sometimes don't pick up the phone because I don't want to talk...

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  42. I left a comment here this morning but I don't see it.

    You ARE a nice, kind and sweet guy!

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  43. And thanks for the tip about that period!

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  44. Sounds like you are human to me. Nothing the rest of us haven't done. Well I never dropped a pencil to look up some girls dress, or get suspended from school, but the rest I've done.

    I'll leave my skeletons in the closet where they belong.

    Have a fabulous Sunday. :)

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  45. Oh I'm full of little nasties. I haven't got to the point where I feel I have to confess. I could confess to quite a few on your list..

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  46. The entire point of growing up and leaving your parents' house is to do things like eating pizza three times a day. Nobody can tell you not to. :) I drink coffee at all times of the day.

    I remember when AOL Instant Messenger and Yahoo Messenger were still popular. I think "LOL" basically came to mean "I can't think of anything else to say or I don't care, but don't want to seem rude."

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  47. I doubt your offenses qualify you for Hell, Keith, Heck maybe --and it's easy to get out of Heck.

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  48. Oooh, confession time. Let's see. I get really, really bored at baby showers and wedding showers because I have no interest in watching somebody else open up 100 gifts. And I *really* hate playing party games. Especially at the aforementioned showers.

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  49. I thought (and still do think) the Helen Keller jokes are funny (how did Helen Keller burn her ear? She answered the iron. These are quite funny and I believe we all have done things like this especially tuning out when someone is really boring.

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  50. Such an evil lad you were--mercy. Good to know you are one of us--almost.
    I have a long list that I plan to keep to myself. I've got folks fooled and tend to keep it that way.

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  51. you do not have to drink 8 glasses of water daily...that is just a myth....i normally don't share chocolate that comes in those big packages meant for sharing, I'll keep them all to myself

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  52. Oh dear, you are adorable! I totally want to do a confession list on my blog. Would that be okay?

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  53. I love this! That period trick was a lifesaver once I finally heard about it! Especially once I had the prof who always said, "If I assign a 20 page essay, i want 20 pages that are full, not 19 full pages and a quarter of 20."

    And meetings... I'm always needed for a quick check-ins for the meetings that I have to attend so I totally tune out. Luckily, I always know what I need to report on for when they call on me. (And I always call in, so that I don't even have to nod and pretend that I'm listening.)

    Also that one post-it on top of my desk with a doodle... it's covering the twenty other post-its with doodles that I've done.

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  54. I don't pick up after my dog if no-one's watching and I'm lazy enough to drink straight out of a milk/juice carton. Womanly, very womanly :D

    And I'm glad you're not always a good guy. How boring would that be!

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  55. This was really cute, cleverly done. Lots of confessing; I bet you feel really free now!

    I don't always think the comedians my son likes are that funny, but I laugh along with him when we are watching clips of them on YTube.

    betty

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  56. And here I always thought you were perfect! On my, you are quite a scamp! I, on the other hand, will plead the fifth!

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  57. Reading your list I thought your confessions are real simple life of one human being. You're an angel Keith!
    I did not like school lessons but only I loved English and music. Once I've re-gifted a box of sweets and then I felt ashamed.

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  58. Right, confession time: I have sometimes "accidentally" eaten my son's Rocky Bun. :-) Thanks for your comment today. I agree with you, those crumbs are the sign of a good biscuit. All is forgiven, Emma, that's why I keep getting your cakes.

    Greetings from London.

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  59. Well, well, well. It's all coming out now isn't it? :) Keith, you have nothing to worry about, and based on this, neither does your lovely fiancee if that's the worst she's got to put up with. Me? I can be a pain in the butt when I get a bee in my bonnet and sometimes I say I'm busy when I'm not to get out of social occasions. Um! Don't tell anyone!

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  60. I have never done any of those things. Ever. That I am admitting to.

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  61. I love these! I didn't actually laugh out loud at them, but I was laughing inside.

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  62. Pizza for breakfast, lunch and dinner is pretty much my perfect meal dream.

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  63. I am LOLing (but am I really laughing out loud?)

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  64. Seriously loved this post, Keith! Makes me appreciate discovering your blog even more. I have a confession to share. My nickname in high school was Bone Crusher. Because one day while in gym we were playing indoor soccer and I accidentally tripped a classmate and he fell into the wall and broke his arm. There was lots of screaming and crying. The ambulance came! Later I found out he had to have plates in screws to help with the healing. It was horrible. He was so kind about it though. Oh and did I mention that this happened about a week after I transferred to the dang school. Worst. Day. Ever.

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  65. I am guilty about not drinking enough water. Also I wonder about people when it comes to their bumper stickers.

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  66. "In 6th grade, I dropped a pencil on purpose once in order to look up a classmate's skirt. I got caught." Aha, so you got caught up your classmate's skirt? Ignore me, LOL and ROFL. I knew you had a dark side. Your posting has confirmed this.

    I'm guilty of literally laughing my head off. This has caused a problem. Try typing without a head.

    Gary! :)

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  67. Brave for putting all of that out there

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  68. Keith that was interesting to read and I think we all have some stuff that makes us imperfect..but, you know what that is what makes us human in an imperfect world.

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  69. Hi there, thanks for your comment on my blog. I love your list. I think most of us are "guilty" of the same things!! This list sounds pretty normal to me.

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  70. I love this post! I must say thought that not squeezing the toothpaste from the bottom irritates the crap out of me. My husband and I have separate toothpaste for that reason.

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  71. Omgosh Keith!! 60 in a 55 zone? ! You daredevil you hehe ;)

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  72. I think toothpaste squeezing incorrectly is a man thing. I hide chocolate candy from John so I can eat the whole thing.

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  73. Love this list! Sounds like the rest of us. And I'm with Paula, I hide candy from my hubby so I can eat it all! Haha! :)
    Cheri

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  74. hahahahah you are still a nice and awesome person. We love you!

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  75. Geez, these are so tame Keith. I was expecting some horrid revelations. If anything, they make you seem even nicer and more normal lol. My husband hates it because I do the squeeze from the middle toothpaste deal too. He is always on me about "roll it from the bottom." No. Just no.

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  76. Teeny Weeny confessions, and most made me smile. I always knew you were human! Have a good day!:)

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  77. The best post you have written so far!!! It made me smile all the way :-)

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  78. Hey, reminds me of me in a few. Hilarious Keith!

    Hank

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  79. Hahahha this is very fun confession so far. I can eat same meal for breakfast, lunch and dinner as well. Sometimes I laugh even though I don't undersrand the joke..great post, Keith

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  80. haha. i'm so guilty of the lol too. it's just such a natural thing to type or text even though i'm totally not laughing out loud :)

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  81. In 9th grade, I got mad at some friends and told on them for smoking in the bathroom. They got suspended for three days. One is still a close friend, and now 45 years later, she still talks about it and still doesn't know it was me.

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  82. Ha...how long do you have...?
    The thermometer thing was one of my favourites...I used that one so many times that I lost count! LOL - on this occasion I really AM laughing out loud!!! :)

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  83. This is a wonderful post. :) I also turn up "Party in the USA" - and dance in my car while singing loudly. No shame here!

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  84. Haha I love this post all too much :).

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  85. The thermometer cracked me up also! These help make you who you are and I appreciate you "confessing" them Keith. Ooops, I don't always leave more than one square of toilet paper for the next person. . . .

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  86. LOL and I am laughing Keith... ahem or should I call you rebel... :) Fantastic list!

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  87. Hi Keith - well that solves that problem for a while .. no more confessions?! - now what to write next?! Still mine would run for miles and miles ... not good at all - I'll stick to what I do ...

    Fun to read .. especially the temperature one ... cheers Hilary

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  88. I have to tell you, I don't think your list is that bad.

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  89. Well, I was literally laughing out loud. I think some of that was due to relief...I was apprehensive about what you were about to confess to! LOL for real. I once got expelled from high school. Today I do not even resemble that foul-mouthed girl. Thank GOD. :)

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  90. Great List!!! Shoot if I made a list I'd have to add flaming poop bags and barf pocket books to the list. Sadly people cannot take jokes anymore. Both of these pranks can now land you in jail or possibly on a watch list somewhere. Loved reading your list! :)

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  91. Your list is mild compared to my husband's! (Although I do have to wonder what you got suspended for!)

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  92. This post really was LOL - and I MEAN that!

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  93. Ya think ya know a man, hahahahahhahaha

    My kids double dip. And I never yell at them (someday someone will be mad at me for that one). ;)

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  94. I'm a serial re-gifter so I'm relieved to hear I'm not entirely alone.

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  95. Hi There, Yes--of course, we ALL (I'm sure) have things in our past which we are not proud of.. Some of them are just little things (like squeezing the toothpaste at the top rather than the bottom) --but some of them are WHOPPERS.

    One of my biggest whoppers was driving too fast. I even had a fuzz buster once --but most of the time, it didn't help. I got 'several' speeding tickets --and even went to classes (in Texas) in order to keep it off of my permanent records... I 'tried' to stay within 10 above the speed limit --but that wasn't easy for a speedo like me. These days, hubby drives about 90% of the time --and when I do, I drive more slowly than I used to...

    Hugs,
    Betsy

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  96. For the most part I thought your flaws are cute. But turning the radio up for a Miley Cyrus song is unforgivable :-)

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  97. I have faked it. Not terribly easy for a man to do, but I have.
    And we were supposed to rewind VHS tapes? Thank goodness we went to DVDs.

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  98. Pizza for three meals in one day? I knew that I liked you! This was fun!

    Julie

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  99. Aw.. these aren't so bad. I'm guilty of a good many of them. Somehow, I have the feeling the one that REALLY worries you has gone unposted.. as will mine, at least for now :)

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  100. Dude, you are naughty! You've definitely earned your bad boy jacket. lol

    I drink coffee after 5pm all the time. I didn't realize there was a cut off point. I guess 11pm is really late...dang, I'm a rebel.

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  101. that made me laugh. ok. my number one confession would be - and this will make me incredibly unpopular amongst the blogger girls - i hate loathe detest the book "lolita"

    C'mon it is a story of a 40sth guy who f***s a 12 year old!!! and argues with the same shamefull dull lull as all offenders do "i wasn't her frist/she seduced me/she wanted it etc etc ) this book is wrong on soooo many levels. Even worse that people regard it as a "love story". The same people who wood stone any childabuser (and rightly so).
    Lolita is a cruel depiction of child abuse and the mind behind such a crime. Beautiful language? give me break and read Ada or Ador if you want to know something about Nabokov. Yes. I do feel better!

    And btw i hate this bloody indifference on blogger due the fear of losing followers. love and hate, darling people, but don't be indifferent! love first and foremost and LIVE!

    thanks

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  102. Keith,

    I loved reading through your lengthy list of misdemeanours. I still conclude that your really are still a nice guy, with a good conscience!!!
    Thank you for visiting my Blog, and leaving such kind comments...
    Best wishes, Eileen :)

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  103. Oh dearest Keith, if that is all you have to offer by way of confessions then I certainly WILL NOT be sharing any of mine. ;)
    Re-gifted??! (hehehehe) did they realise?
    LOL - (and I mean it)

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  104. This was hysterical, Keith! I really was LOL because I've done some of those same things! I've busted third grade boys for doing the pencil thing and trying to snap a picture with a cell phone up a classmates skirt! I missed the post on favorite books ~ mine has to be LOTR, but it's almost an impossible choice to pick just one. By the way, I'm definitely a hobbit, and we regift with joy! I'm an omnivorous and voracious reader! Have a good one!

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  105. Ha! I've totally done more than one of these...a lot more than one actually. Except the pencil and the skirt thing. ;) And double dipping? I'm the queen of that one!

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  106. Keith, this is hilarious. I used to pretend to be sick when I wasn't to get out of school. I figured out how to make my eyes look funny. I double dip, too. I tell the occasional white lie to get out of something I don't want to do. What a fun topic.

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  107. This is too funny, Keith! I think I have done all or most of these things, except maybe dropping the pencil :) I have had my share of confessions growing up Catholic. I do sometimes hide some treats to keep my hubby from eating them, but to be fair, he is a treat stealer. And I do tend to judge people by their bumper stickers -- but hey, they are the ones announcing it to the world! Oh, and sometimes I don't listen to long winded stories and instead start daydreaming. This is a problem when you are asked a question.....xo Karen

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  108. You are so funny! I have to admit, sometimes my foot is a little( just a little) heavy on the gas pedal.. I still believe you are still a nice guy! Have a happy day!

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  109. Hilarious post! I didn't LOL, but I did smile a lot.

    Confessions...

    I love 80s movies. I have lost count of how many times I have watched The Breakfast Club, Pretty In Pink, Some Kind of Wonderful, Say Anything, Better Off Dead, and many more.

    Sometimes I wear long pants for a month because I just don't feel like shaving my legs.

    That is all I can think of off the top of my head!

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  110. Yes I must confess I'm not as perfect as my mother thought....:)

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  111. Very funny, Keith. No confessions from me. I rarely write anything personal on my blog or in comments. Have a nice 4th :)

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  112. I love pizza- I could so do that! I like to eat popcorn for supper-my family does not improve. It doesn't happen very often. I have ESPP-Extra Sensory Police Perception-I get the feeling one will appear and I slow down and then-one appears. I agree with the wise old owl-it does only take 3 licks to get to the center of the Toostie Roll Lollipop ;D You are funnay!
    (It is my New England accent-I can't get rid of it).

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  113. Go forth and sin no more - LOL!
    Carol, the re-gifter.

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  114. My clear conscience is a direct consequence of a faulty memory. Hahaha. :D

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  115. OMG, I definitely think differently of you now - that double dipping thing is a no-no!!!

    Although I'm way guilty of quite a few other things on your list. (sigh) We're bad, bad people... :)

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  116. I had no idea you were so bad...it may take me a while to get over this and all these visions you've planted in my brain!

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  117. If it makes you feel any better, I read recently where the 8 glasses of water thing really isn't valid. They say you can get hydrated from other things you drink too. As for faking an illness to get out of school, well, I did that too. I was not the goody two shoes many thought me to be. :)

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  118. I love this post Keith!
    You really made me laugh with the pizza all day!
    My daughter made that sometime so I know what are you talking.
    I dont drink all these water I thinm maybe 4 glasses!
    The fruits count ?
    I love fruits! Ican eat they all day!
    Did you noticed by my recipes?
    Lol

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  119. LOL! And I am really laughing out loud! Really!
    Welcome to the human race, Keith! Enjoyed this post a lot and feel so much better about myself!!

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  120. Oh my Keith no fooling us now ~ lol
    You are officially in the Bad Boy Club right up there with Axel Rose ;)

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  121. Hahahaha!!!!! Keith… I don't think I can read your blog anymore… you're not who I thought you were… ;-)

    Pretty hilarious. LOL <----And yes, I actually did laugh out loud, so don't you fear. :)

    Still laughing at the Miley Cyrus comment too. :)

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  122. oh my gosh this so funny, I don't think you too much to worry about, lol, your karma should be fine,

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  123. I have to confess that I never confess

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  124. Haha! This was great. I am guilty of many of these, too. ;)

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  125. Ha.. I LOLed at this (not really) ;) There are some good ones in here. The double dipping made me gasp.. that's like putting your whole mouth in the bowl! But since you haven't confessed to not putting the toilet seat down, you're still doing fine. Thanks for the laughs.. out loud or otherwise.

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  126. Oh my!! am I glad I stopped by to say hi, you put a smile on my face... yeah you are a bad boy! Have you ever had a check bounce? me?? several when I was single oh and sometimes I hide and don't share food with my kids...

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  127. Hey, that's my list... I could add a few crazy things to mine, then what must you think of me.

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  128. Lol - really. I wish every one around me was such a jerk - really, again! :-)

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  129. Your problem is you don't forget anything!

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  130. I've done a lot of those things.

    I want to know what made you get suspended in high school? I haven't ever gotten suspended.

    I went out of my house in the middle of the night to meet up with my then boyfriend at a park. My parents never caught me. It was so stupid of me.

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  131. interesting post in many ways. Have completely mixed feelings about comments :) Take care :)

    http://agagasiniak.blogspot.co.uk/

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  132. I loved these. Only suspended twice? C'mon, Keith, get on my level. I was suspended twice in one week. High school was more of a recreational place than a learning environment for me. It's no wonder I had to go back to college when I was thirty =P

    My confession: I lose the tie on the bread all the time but never look for it. I just twist the bag and put it back in the breadbox.

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  133. You and I were LIKE THIS until the Miley Cyrus bit.

    I've lost all respect for you. :-)

    Pearl

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  134. Oooohhhh my favorite kind of posts!
    One time I did NOT return the clothes to the rack after trying them on. I left them IN the dressing room at the store!
    And one time (when I was single) I threw the bag of chip crumbs in the trash. Later in the day I got the bag out of the trash and ate them!
    I kick dropped ice cubes under the fridge. I do. Like, right now...I would do that....at my age.

    Cindy Bee

    AND PS - I like using parenthesis! They were legal in the 70's!

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  135. lol well now I know I am really going to hell.lol
    I never knew I had so much to confess to the priest.
    But when you are right you are right. Geez....

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  136. LOL! (And yes, I did actually laugh out loud.) I confess your confessions seem rather mild. ;) Hm. I'll confess that I often fake it til I make it. Seriously. See that cheesy grin? It's very practiced from a lifetime of performing. Regardless, I do TRY to instantly care about every person I meet. So yes, fake til I make.

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  137. absolutely !! Lemme think....
    I double dip you bet
    I judge folks by their bumper snickers also
    I judge people by how their dogs behave ( or not )
    Sometimes I am iny pajamas past noon. Nope not in bed- just too lazy to get dressed!
    Oh heck I am a re-gifter par excellence. Sometimes those gifts leave our home the same day they arrived.
    I spoil my sweetie and our cat.
    Big hugs to all of us non-perfect people!

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  138. I'm guilty of several on your list. Although I've never dropped a pencil to look up someone's skirt, I may have dropped one in high school just so I can pick it up in front of the guy I was crushing on. Pencil dropping works for both sexes. ;)

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  139. Is this the best you've got? Okay, it's more than I have but still minor. Let's see . . .

    When I type LOL, I'm not always literally laughing out loud.

    I judge people I don't even know soley based on their bumper stickers, and don't regret it because they deserve it putting some things on their cars.

    When driving, I often go 63 or 64 in a 55 mph zone.

    and, I do not drink the recommended eight glasses of water per day, either.

    As for anything that happened in my youth or childhood, who cares? Of course, I think I was better behaved then than now.

    http://joycelansky.blogspot.com

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  140. I've done some of the same things as you. Especially the last one, about "borrowing" a pen. Haha.
    I'm happy go lucky, good natured and all that. But, I'm a ranter and raver. And I'm very impatient. I mutter things under my breath. I'm judgemental.
    I roll my eyes a lot.
    There. I DO feel better!
    And I had a good chuckle over you driving 64. Hilarious, you daredevil!

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  141. My hubby and I received a giant sized American flag with flag pole for Christmas. I really tried to act like I loved it. LOL!! (I'm not really LOL-ing;-) I'm all about patriotism, maybe just not HUGE flags in my front yard. Thanks for stopping by my blog today!

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  142. This was a fun post.
    Here's mine - The fastest I've driven in my car is 130 MPH. It was just for a second and it was a straight road and no other cars around. It was awesome. : )

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  143. Naughty naughty naughty. I think you can find forgiveness for all those... well, maybe not for the toothpaste squeezing infraction. Repenting of that is insufficient. Thou shalt reform. :) Wonderfully fun post. Should I be alarmed by the surprisingly high number of those deeds we have in common?

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  144. LOL..great confessions...but I may have to unfriend you...:)

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  145. I think many people have done a half, if not three quarters of the things you've confessed to here. :)

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  146. What a sinner you are! Shame on you. I can see some jail time ahead, naughty boy:)

    Big hugs, honey...

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  147. I literally laughed out loud at your confession of changing the font size on periods. Wish I'd known that trick! ;)

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  148. You were only suspended twice? With such a rap sheet, I would have figured more. ;) I have a confession, I don't always answer the phone when it rings, even (or especially) when I know who's calling. :)

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  149. Squeezing the toothpaste in the middle?!!!! that is just despicable!!
    I turn my radio up louder when the song I HOPE YOU DANCE comes on, or when anything by James Taylor, John Denver, Carol King, Doobie Brothers, Chicago, Josh Groban, soundtrack of Phantom of the Opera, Maria Muldaur, Crosby Stills Nash & Young, ...well, it gets turned up a lot!

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  150. I love the tip about changing the dont size of periods (or full stops as we call them over here). It would work the other way too, to save paper.....

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  151. Yes, I can see how those 'sins' were burdening you, lol, (really lol). I do love the bumper sticker judgement...I'm guilty of that one too ;-)

    Love the Coldplay song on your other post too.

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  152. Haha, I'm totally guilty of the speeding sin. . . I go 7-10 mph over the limit all the time. It will bite me back one of these days.
    Great list!

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  153. Great list!. Mine would be much longer. Glad you are feeling better, now.

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  154. OMG Keith, this list is hysterical! It's too late for me, I need to go to bed and my brain's not working properly.....so I can't think of anything off the top of my head. But I appreciate you putting this all out there!!!

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  155. Well.I feel like I know you now. However I've lived twice as long as you and my list would eat your list for breakfast, and ask for seconds! I don't want to brag, but I actually do LOL and ROFLMBO! Thanks for the smiles this morning Keith- have a great day!

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  156. Ha - love this! I, too, judge people based on their bumper stickers. I'm convinced you can sum up a personality based only on this.

    Hm...I sneak chocolate all day long and blame it on other people - like my kids.

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    1. Oh, and the font size? Brilliant! I'm telling my college aged kiddos about this.

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  157. First of all, thanks for stopping by and not hating me for neglecting such an important reader. Secondly, let have a look at this post of yours. You didn't always rewind? So it was you, was it! It took me two decades to find you. Now I will have to make you drink some Blue Coffee after 5 PM. Yes, sir. I'll pour myself a cup too for I suddenly realize I never ever - quote - "squeeze the toothpaste tube from the bottom". I hate work meetings unless there's some hope decisions will finally be made. Ones that make sense. I usually find myself wondering why I would fire. How's your coffee? I always double-dip, but it's too early to tell you there's no chips involved. Aha! I never type LOL, nor do I ever think about LOL except when it means Love or Lust? But I'm blue, so don't expect me to laugh out loud. A college paper stretcher eh? Are you aware you're talking to a college professor? I'm LOL now thinking about what I would do with you if you were a student of mine. Now, let's see... Blue Coffee.... check! Man, I'm so tired I can't even think of anything suiting. Maybe a long comment? Check! I judge people based on their essays. How's that for a confession? I'd better turn that one into a bumper sticker. You have feigned excitement? Shame on you. Why would you do that? I never feign excitement and as a result I have only three friends. I'm about to re-gift. I got a concert ticket from a student. First I said thank you without smiling and now I'm thinking my brother's birthday is coming up so.... As for thermometers, you don't even want to know where I put them to shock my poor Momma. How's that for a confession? Still reading? Good. This is meant to be severe punishment. Not many people have been punished by Blue except for my readers. So you check out mentally when you're at work. What do you think I'm doing now? In 6th grade you dropped a pencil on purpose once in order to look up a classmate's skirt? I love you, man. I did the exact same thing. Plus I had special mirrors glued on my shoes. Of course I got caught. I never laugh at jokes that are not funny. What I do is tell a joke that is funny just for spite. I never borrow pens because I know where those have been. Well, I hope you're ready for your second cup of Blue Coffee.

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  158. You are hilarious... :) Nah...still a nice guy...sorry... :)))
    (YES, definitely the bumper stickers!!) I am terrible at returning library books on time, I am very judgemental when people yell at their kids in public, and I can turn into a little monster when hungry...I'm sure there's plenty more...but why go there? I think you have covered the most "sinful" of them...haha
    Hugs to you and Beate...

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  159. Hehehe This made me laugh so hard. If I did something like this on my blog, I'd fear the list would be a lot worse then yours. Thanks for sharing, I enjoyed this very much. ;)

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  160. LOVE this post. You made me laugh out loud, too!
    I think I feel pretty good without confessing right now :P LOL

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